Pre-teen Brat
I have a SD12 and SD8. The youngest one will actually listen to me when she is with us. She does get upset when I tell her to take her fingers out of her mouth. But for the most part she will do what is asked. SD12 gets mad when she is asked to do ANYTHING. We have horses and animals it's her responsibility to get up and feed them in the mornings. Well I'm tired of fighting her every morning. I can't even get her to help with the dishes or laundry. I'm basically done asking her to do anything.
SD12's Mom committed suicide Dec 2011 I realize that has caused her some issues. But I'm tired of her testing me. Her smart mouth is going to get her mouth washed out with soap.
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I have every sympathy for
I have every sympathy for anyone with a pre-teen brat SD, but, good lord, the girl's mother committed suicide 8 months ago? I think this might be a legitimate excuse for some bad behaviour. Have a little humanity and get her some counselling or something. My brother killed himself when I was 13 and it affected my life for many years, so I can't imagine what losing your mother this way is like.
I've tried on the counseling,
I've tried on the counseling, and it was Dec 2010, sorry. I have humanity for her. I'm sympathetic to her but, I'm tired of the attitude. Her Father has had custody since she was 2 months old.
In that case, maybe you just
In that case, maybe you just have to carry on providing very firm boundaries, withdrawal of privileges for bad behaviour and ride it through. Adolescents are tough, even for bio parents.
Yeah, this is tough. She is
Yeah, this is tough. She is no doubt hurting over her loss and also having to answer to you, which may be just a reminder to her that her mom is gone. I also have SD10 full time and totally know how you feel about her acting up, attitude, etc. I would have a hard time also, but she has to be really hurting inside. Put her in some counseling, and try your best to not take her actions personally right now. She is a teen, so she will act accordingly, she is hurting and will act on that also. Very tough situation. Try to get into family counseling if you can also. It cant hurt.
Thank you for your comments
Thank you for your comments and advise. I think I will get her some counseling. To top it off I don't have children of my own. So it's a whole new world for me. I'm trying my best and remembering how my parents raised me. Which is to respect and honor your parents.