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Off Topic awesomeness. Imposter Syndrome in "my baby girl".

Rags's picture

Our niece (my brother's eldest of 3) was in town for a conference.  We saw her on Friday evening and she stayed with us Friday night.

28yo, beautiful (yes I am biased but I am not just saying that), successful, an amazing person, in a strong marriage (17mos and counting) to a true counterpart for her, and she has an incredible heart.

We took her to her favorite restaurant from her growing up years in Asia.  We all three very much enjoyed that.  We talked about the family, each and every person in it, disecting our love for our family, and expressing our concerns for those we have concerns about.  Nothing derogatory, just what we want for them.

She and my DW spent a lot ot time discussing finance/accounting careers, public accounting Vs corporate, finishing her MBA and CPA.... or not before they start having babies.  Continueing her career as a new mom, etc.....I just pretty much stayed to the periphery and let them assess it all from the perpective of two professional women.

She is having a bit of  a loyalty bind. She has received an offer from an established highly profitable publically traded company as their corporate accounting manager. It comes with a 50% increase in base salary, a multiple 5 figure signing bonus to make her whole against a retention bonus her current company just offered her to commit to another year with them, variable compensation including a 25% bonus structure and 30% annual equity structure.  She really is a rock star.  If she ever figures out how scary smart she is, watch out.

On three occassions while we were with her she commented that she felt like an imposter while interfacing with the executive team at the company she will accept the new offer with.  She just cannot wrap her head around that they are engaging on this opportunity with her.  My guidance to her is that she has earned her success, to not over think it all, and to embrace and enjoy her earned success.  She is no imposter. She and I had about an hour alone together as I drove her to the airport yesterday AM.  

I thanked her for her guidance to her aunt on the upside to transitioning to corporate accounting from public.  Better compensation, far better work life balance, and far more opportunity.  I did have alterior motives to staying mostly quiet while my bride and my baby girl were having the brainy bean counter chick bonding discussions.

Diablo

Though she is my brothers child, she will always be my baby girl.  Her mom, dad, and I all lived together while they were pregnant with her during our last year of engineering school. I was there when she was born (not in the room, they kicked everyone out when the pushing started).  Her dad and I walked for graduation the day after she was born.  For the next 6mos she, her mom, dad, I all lived in a corporate apartment in Cali together after her dad and I started our careers together.  I held her for countless hours at night so her mom and dad could get some sleep.  I held her blowing raspberries at her to get her to stop craying when she was having infant meltdowns while her mom and dad were out on a date night.  Raspberry noises where the only thing that would quiet her down. I was blowing them while she just stared at me with a "wtf is wrong with this guy" look on her face.   My chapped lips were epic and painful.  I gave her new groom the secret to get her to stop crying when I toasted them at their wedding.   My brother, his wife, and the whole audience lost it in laughter (for my brother, his wife,  and I it was laughter through tears) when I blew raspberries at their reception.   On the picture table at the weding there was a picture of her lying in my lap staring at me while I was raspberry-ing away when she was only a few weeks old.  I had just turned 30, she was brand new.

Anyway, we had a great short visit with my beautiful, scary smart, amazing, successful baby girl.

I love you young lady. So very much.

 

Comments

StepUltimate's picture

She sounds like a lovely young lady. Biggrin

grannyd's picture

Rags, I've always maintained that nature, rather than nurture, is the major deciding factor of one's outcome in life. Your niece was blessed with those great genetics, from the same gene pool that produced her doting uncle. Yes 3

SeeYouNever's picture

What a wonderful story! You're really a great uncle and husband. Knowing the perfect cute story for a wedding toast and when to let ladies discuss careers is a gift, seriously. Empathy is truly a superpower.

Imposter syndrome is a sign of true wisdom and humility. Only arrogant people think they have all the answers, a truly wise mind questions everything, including themselves.

 

Notthedoormat's picture

To a special bond you share with her! She is blessed to have you and your bride supporting her dreams! And no doubt you have blessed her life just bu being there!

Rags's picture

Though I am the one who is blessed.

Give rose