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O/T why there should be a maturity test before marriage

queenofthedamned's picture

I know some of you will appreciate this.

I work with a lovely young girl in her early twenties who got married last year, to a dude whom I believe is her only serious relationship. Now, I know some people who get married on the young side of life, to high school sweethearts or whatever, and make a great life because they had their heads on straight when they married. Personally, I wouldn't trade the years I spent on my own as a young adult because they taught me how to handle life, but I get that other people take a different path.

This girl and her husband, however, always struck me as.... immature in their relationship at best. Yesterday she got a phone call at work from her hubby. I happened to answer the phone, and when he told me he was stranded at the side of the road I figured it was some sort of emergency and relieved her of her duties so she could deal with it. Soon, I saw her in tears explaining how frustrated she was with him before she grabbed her things and clocked out to swoop to his rescue.

Turns out, it was the *sixth* time he's run out of gas on the side of the road (in a brand new car, so clearly the gas gauge is not malfunctioning).

Are you fucking kidding me?!? I guess I'm a bitch because I would've left his ass there to figure it out himself the second time he did it. He claims that the gas light never came on but whatever - there's still a gauge, and if this has happened so many times before you'd think you'd have the brains to check the damn gauge before you get on the road. Or at least get a AAA membership so you don't have to bug your wife when the inevitable happens.

I just want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her "Honey, the reason he doesn't learn from his mistakes is because he doesn't have to. You drop what you're doing and rush to save him. I guarantee you that if you told him to handle it himself and left him to hoof it x miles to the gas station on his own - like a MAN - it'd be the last time it ever happened."

Gawd, poor girl - it's like she has this giant child to take care of. If I had married my dream guy in my early twenties, before my inner bitch was truly developed, I might've been running to clean up all of his messes too. Thankfully my bitch is full grown, and comes out to play when needed :).

Later, I asked FDH what he thinks I'd do if he ever pulled this shit on me. His response? "It would never happen - what kind of man calls his WIFE at work to rescue him when he's stranded on the side of the road?" Ahhh, spoken like a grown up lol.

Comments

SMof2Girls's picture

I don't know that it's a maturity issue with this girl, or some other problem. There are several women on this website who completely admit to being total doormats, but do nothing to change/improve their situations. I know people like that in real life too. I just think it's who some people ARE; no aging or amount of life experience changes them.

Drac0's picture

DW's ex-roomate did this to her several times. The first time it happened, he said the same thing "It's a gas gage malfunction". So she helped him out, even paid for the gas. The second time it happened, he said "I thought it was fixed!". This was a common occurance with him.

Then one day he calls her up at midnight during the middle of the week asking her if she can come across town to fetch him. He ran out of gas again! DW said "No. I'm sleeping call someone else." The roomate says "I have no one else to call!". DW said, "then call a tow truck!" and hung up.

They didn't stay roomates for long after that.

QUOTE: "It would never happen - what kind of man calls his WIFE at work to rescue him when he's stranded on the side of the road?"

Agreed! My Dad told me that there are some things that a guy absolutely must learn to do himself. One of them is fixing certain car troubles. By 16 I was capable of changing a flat tire, filling gas, battery boosting, etc by myself...And I have had my fair share of car troubles!

Kes's picture

I agree with your take on the situation. The running out of gas scenario is apparently something that NPD BM pulls from time to time. Personally, I would never lift a finger to help someone who did something so stupidly unnecessary as running out, especially when newish cars give you multiple warnings that this is going to happen.

My DH similarly has been known to run to the aid of the SDs, not for gas, but similar "emergencies" lol. The one time he tried to rope me in, to drive SD somewhere at the last minute because of her disorganisation, my answer was no.

Drac0's picture

I'm curious as to what the fallout was (if any). Did your DH chastise you for being a "meenie poo-poo head"?

Kes's picture

Draco - not sure if your question is addressed to me - :? if it is, no my DH didn't tell me I was a meany poo poo head! He knows he shouldn't really be turning his SDs lack of organisation into my emergency - he was just trying it on.
But I guess I am a meany poo poo head when it comes to the SDs - I prefer to think of myself as a grumpy old woman who doesn't give a shit!

Drac0's picture

Yes I was addressing it to you Kes. I was just curious because DW often gets roped into these "emergencies" by SS as well. I've used the famous phrase "A lack of planing on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part" on SS a couple of times - but that makes me a meany poo poo head too!

Onefootout's picture

I didn't see it posted here so I'll post this phrase I like that one of my coworkers said:

Failure to plan on your part is not an emergency on mine.

Something like that.