I blogged yesterday about how BM basically screwed the skids and FDH over by stealing their day camp money and using it for herself, and how he was just letting her get away with it.

I sat and thought and thought about it, and got more and more angry, and it dawned on me that this is just a symptom of a much bigger issue between us. The long and short of it: he's hesitant to have a child with me (I have no bios but would love one; I went through infertility/miscarriage hell with my exH) but he had two with that worthless POS.

Here's why it bothers me so much (and it seems so obvious now, but I really hadn't put together the why before yesterday): The biggest reason he cites for being reluctant is money. Yet now, with me, he's in a MUCH better financial position than he was with BM. I actually work and make a decent living. I am going to school now and though it will be a long road, I'll eventually earn enough so that FDH could retire early if he wanted. Our future is very bright.

BM has no financial sense whatsoever. Yet, he chose her as the mother of his children and says paying for another kid would be tough.

So, I laid it out for him. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: FDH, I love you but you need to go after child support from that biotch. I don't care how small of an amount it is - you cannot expect me to give up my dream of having a child because of FINANCES when you don't pursue every avenue to financially take care of the skids. YOU chose that woman to be the mother of YOUR sons. I am done making sacrifices - financial or other - because YOU made a poor choice. I feel like I am paying the price with something I've always wanted for YOUR bad decisions. SHE should have to make a sacrifice or two for those boys. You're not wanting to have a child with me because of finances is tantamount to saying that SHE is more financially responsible than me and makes a better mom than I would make.

He said: You're making me feel like a piece of shit.

Me: That's because, with regard to this issue, you're acting like one.

FDH: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Me: You should be.

FDH: Buying the car has made me realize that we have a lot more room in our budget than I thought. Maybe we just need to jump in and make it happen.

Me: You changing your mind on this again is a deal breaker, you know.

FDH: I know. I've been an asshole but I don't want to lose you.

So, many thanks to those who commented on my post yesterday, and also to all of you wonderful ladies in general for always having great advice and perspective.