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Issues Surrounding FSD's Dance Recital, Reconsidering my Engagement

KatDarling's picture

Today the issues surrounding FSD's dance recital reached a point where I am considering ending my engagement.

I asked FDH if he wanted to go to a sporting event on Sunday. He told me that he couldn't because FSD has a dance recital. I was completely taken aback. This was the first I heard about this dance recital. This was pretty much our conversation ...

Me: I'm really hurt that you didn't invite me to FSD's dance recital
FDH: Aw, I'm sorry baby
Me: ... then invite me
FDH: I'll look into it. I just don't feel like dealing with BM's mom
Me: So let me get this straight,I plan activities for FSD9, I buy her presents for her birthday, host her birthday party, planning it, buying decorations, making cupcakes , I buy her Christmas presents, babysit her when you are puttering around the house, and help her with her homework but I am excluded from the dance recital because you don't feel like getting involved?!
FDH: You don't get it BM's mom is insane
Me: I don't care, you are allowed to take your fiance to your daughter's dance recital
FDH: Ok, I'll try to get you a ticket. I love you so much

I am livid. My entire married life just flashed before my eyes with me sitting at home because FDH doesn't want to deal with BM and her mom. I have been in his daughter's life, taking care of her, putting in the time and the money. I refuse to participate in a double standard where I am expected to help with her but denied access to fun events.

I highly doubt that FDH will get me a ticket to this dance recital. I guess we will see. I'm really hurt and I think I need to evaluate if this is the kind of thing I want to involve myself in for the rest of my life. A problem with FSD9 has never made me this aware of just how difficult my life with FDH will be.

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Reconsider sweetie...really, it normally doesn't get better. If you have no kids, count your blessings. At some point many of us tried to do the same things you do...all to be admired...at the end, we aré just expected to treat them like royalty and suck it up when they treat us like crap.

Best of luck to you...I hope you find prince charming...he'll have no bagagge.

youngmama1b1g's picture

I know how you feel about being slighted esp considering how involved you are in their lives already. But it seems obvious to me that he thought he was doing you a favor and not trying to keep you out for any reason other than saving a headache. Im sure next time he wont forget your ticket-and if he does then you have reason for concern.