Perhaps this Blog in just a way and place to vent my frustrations. I often feel I wear out my welcome with others, including SM's as most *I* know dont deal with the same kind of BS that I have/Do. Eventually people seem to stop responding to my posts, or offering enlightened ideas or even just a hug. I want to be heard, maybe not my problems solved, but my voive heard that things are ridiculous, unfair, unhealthy etc.

See, our BM, is a mentally ill/unfit BM with physical custody. While her and Dh share joint legal custody, we live 3 hours away from BM. (just as a side note of importance - SHE made the move away). SO as if the PA-ing, refusal to cooperate and coparent isn't already bad enough - the distance excentuates that 100x's - she can get away with S* that a parent in the same city couldn't as easily.

We have seen it all. Experienced it all. The kids are now early teens. There are years left, although it gets easier as they get older to let go, probably the nature of their ages. I don't hate BM, but I dont respect her, I can't - how can I respect anyone who after 11 years continues to be so spiteful, hateful and spend her day dreaming up the newest and latest way to "punish" us for our existance. If anything I pity her, I dislike what she does.

I have stopped worrying or feeling sorry for the kids, its not my problem, I can't help - OH we have tried, but the courts said "their friends were more important" so they should not live in the stable, loving, healthy home we can provide 3 hours away and instead shall remain subject to the daily wretchings, hatefilled spit of their sick BM - someone they had to COURT ORDER to "support their relationship with their father" - yes thats what the order says - they had to actually write that in a court order....how pathetic.

And falsy you would want to believe as time goes on, wounds are healed - oh no sir-ee. The longer this has lasted the worse shes gotten. The more we put out feet down the harder she hit us. Denied access (even during a custodial assessment - WHO DOES THAT, and yet they said keep them there), withheld medical infomration, abused medically one of the children, turned the kids against their dad....and yet that was the better home.

Somehow in the end we have stood firm on our feet. Its taken emotional toll, mental toll. Its nearly destroyed my husband, our marriage (wouldn't she love that, considering she still thinks I am the homewrecker who split them up - versus her inability to keep it in her pants). The end is near however, but its still an arms length away. We can see the finish line, albeit not a straight line.

So - whats next....I guess we wait and see.