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OMG it gets worse with the disrespect with the boys and yuck

purpledaisies's picture

Yuck called dh last night AGAIN about what happened with the boys last night. Man she REALLY needs to get a handle on them!

So this is what happened, ss14 and ss12 were playing around and horse playing in the living room. Ss16 didn;t like it and went off on them yelling and screaming at them then went and got an air soft gun and he shot them with it. SS15 got so mad that he punched something and broke it.

What did yuck do?? NOTHING! Instead she goes to the store! :jawdrop: while she was gone ss16 went for a drive without any permission and yuck calls him on it he told her that she can'tr tell him what to do or anything and he will do what he wants and she has no say. :jawdrop:

Now I was sitting there listening to dh tell this and the first thing that popped in my head was "why in the world did she NOT stop ss16 from the moment he started getting crappy with ss15 and 12? Made no sense to me. so i asked dh.

Dh said he asked her the same thing. She said she is afraid of him. Well no wonder he does that stuff b/c he knows she won't do anything and is afraid of him. Yea he is a big kid 6 foot and weighs 200lbs but I am 5'5" weighing 130 and she is 6foot and weighs like 300lbs and I am NOT afraid of ss16 and have never showed it. I tell you and so will ny dh that if ss16 ever thought he could cross me he would be out on his ass faster then his head could spin and I know ss16 knows that too b/c the few times he has crossed me he didn't like the results.

That is what yuck needs to do but why she won't be beyond me?? Dh told her that she needs to take his xbox and his keys and anything else away from him for his crappy behavior, yuck said she tried to take his xbox once and he grabbed her by the throat and shoved into the wall and said you will not take my xbox! :jawdrop:

OMG I am sitting here in disbelief b/c that has NEVER happened here not once! I have taken his stuff away many times and never has he reacted that way.

It's all in the way you present yourself to your kids and let them know that you are in charge not them. Yuck can't seem to understand that?? :sick:

It makes me think what will happen when they get older? I don;t want them going on the wrong path b/c she doesn't want to hurt their little fee fees or that she is afraid of them. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. Take their crap away and make it a boot camp til they can act right! Hell not would that happen in my house!

Comments

Ommy's picture

if she cant handle them she needs to quit being a friend. honestly it is her own fault. People are too busy being friends to their kids that the kids grow up with no respect for adults.

is she trying to get you guys to take him? is that why she keeps calling?

Willow2010's picture

crappy behavior, yuck said she tried to take his xbox once and he grabbed her by the throat and shoved into the wall and said you will not take my xbox
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As much as my DH does not like BM…he would have beaten the shit out of SS for doing this to BM or ANY woman. I do not believe in the NCP doing the discipline for the CP…but this would be an exception in my book.

purpledaisies's picture

Dh will have them tonight and he will take care of that. She called last night he wasn't there but he will get them tonight. I do hope that it helps but at the same time how much as yuck will just let him keep doing those same things if she doesn't change the way she parents or better yet just be a parent!

purpledaisies's picture

I totally agree he needs to live with us. Dh knows it too i think that is why he is listening to her and then will wait til the right time and say he needs to come to live with me if you can't control him.

I don't take that BS from kids and they all know it, My dd tried one time to cross me and she didn't like being pinned on the floor and couldn't move when she was about 15. Yep she thought I was old and week lol right I showed her. Then a few weeks later she told dh that she will never do that again! lol

I am sitting here trying to wrap my brain around why she won;t do anything?? I mean yes he is big kid but it is the way you talk to them and make it clear to them that you will not take that crap. My neighbor said she needs to call the police, I don't agree I think she just needs to put her foot down.

But you are right she made that mess by allowing him to have adult status and being his friend.

stormabruin's picture

"i think that is why he is listening to her and then will wait til the right time and say he needs to come to live with me if you can't control him."
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So BM calls for help, DH offers, BM declines, & DH allows it to continue so he can say he thinks ss needs to live with you?

What's he waiting for? When it the right time? The kid needs discipline & if your DH feels he can do better he needs to go ahead & proceed. Why let the kid continue to think his behavior is acceptable?

stormabruin's picture

Why does your DH keep entertaining these calls? She's going to parent in her home or she's not. He can't parent her household, so why even take the calls?

purpledaisies's picture

He is very concerned for his kids. He will sit him down this weekend and have a talk with him. I Understand why he is entertaining these calls. I get it. His behavior is getting out of control including his driving and something needs to be done.

Dh said that he will have a huge talk with him and if he tries to talk to him lie he does his mom he will take his car away. PERIOD. Him bully his mom is unacceptable. Dh will also tell yuck that she has to put her foot down and stop being afraid. I do think yuck is starting to come around as she called dh again today. Ss16 told yuck that he will beat her van til she can't drive it if she takes his car away. That is why dh said he would take his car away himself. yuck is on board with that too.

I did tell dh that I am very concerned that if she doesn't put her foot down and nothing we do or say have an effect as we are not there to correct him when he does that. She has correct him as she is the only one there that can and should.

ctnmom's picture

My friend-girl "L" has one son, he's 21 and as big as a moose. Once, ONCE mind you,when he was 18 he gave her a hard time and was kinda up in her face. (She's pretty average build and not too tall). She very calmly stepped outside and called her exDH, who's a prison guard and has biceps like tree trunks. L said he was over at her house in 5 minutes. (they live 10 minutes apart LOL) Needless to say- problem solved. Dirol