I took my SD for a haircut once and I was deathly worried about what her mother would say. She knew I was getting it cut, but I was worried she wouldn't like the style. (SD wanted her hair cut like mine!) But we went and I let SD get whatever cut she wanted and it was darling. We emailed pics to her mom and her mom loved it, too. I was shocked! This woman has NEVER wanted me anywhere near her children. Maybe your BM will have enough sense to not want to hurt her daughter's feelings and not say anything ugly. Either way, nothing good we do for our skids is wrong. We should never let anyone tell us it is.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

I want to first start by saying Good for you! I'm so glad that you were able to get some of that "special" time with your SD. Times like that are so few and far between for some of us that to hear a success story like yours is music to my ears. My SD won't let me take her to do anything....absolutely NOTHING because of her mother. BM gets very angry. For instance, I too took her for a hair cut (SD requested it) and when BM saw it all she talked about was how terrible it looked. (way to treat your child and help their self esteem huh?) I thought it looked great and so did SD until she saw her mother...I could tell she was crushed and from that moment on....5 years ago.....SD won't let me take her to get her hair done or nails or anything.....
You have no idea how great it was to hear your story....it gives me hope.

Who Cares? Let her be mad.... you're not doing anything wrong, in fact you're doing everything right. BM should be thankful to have such a loving, caring role model for her daughter while she is in DH's care. If BM doesn't get that then she likely never will because she is more concerned with her own selfish insecurities rather than thinking of her daughter's best interests.... Keep on doin what you're doin!

If she doesn't like it... well too bad. That is not her concern. There is no reason why you can't bond with your SD. she has to live with YOU too. There needs to be a level of comfort between a step parent and step child. There needs to be a level of respect. If she can't handle that, than too bad. She can't stop you from doing these things with SD. It is not during HER time with her... so continue to do it. Let her stew in her own misery.

I give SS his hair cuts. I always have. One time BM got upset because I cut his hair and she wanted to grow it out... well, first of all, I never cut it without DH saying "please cut his hair"... and second, if you were trying to grow it out, and you KNOW that WE are the ones that cut his hair, then you need to tell us that and you and DH will come up with a plan. DUH. She didn't know for a long time that it was me cutting his hair... when she found out it made her angry. So she insisted on cutting it the next time... OMG did she screw his hair up BAD. She apologized to me and told me "I don't know how you get him to sit still, I can't do it"... HAHAHA... that's because he RESPECTS and LISTENS to me. Sucker.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

If she's mad that you had some bonding time w/ your SD, then it's something she just has to get over!!! Would she be happier if you completely ingnored your SD??? No, she'd be pissed about that too, so maybe she'll just surprise you & be thankful for treating her child so nicely. As long as you are being a positive, caring role model, don't you ever worry about what your SD's BM thinks. At the end of the day YOU know what you did was worth ever smile you saw on your SD's face.

What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger!

And so well is right!!!!

It's not like you took her to a sex toy shop. Congrats on your bonding moment.

Keep up the good work. Jo

"May the forces of evil get confused on the way to your house." George Carlin