He couldn't sleep last night so he was talking about plans for Christmas

He's taking time off and his brother might come up to see him

Somehow we got on the subject of SD

Apoarently he's been emailing or texting here and there and she never responds

I admitted that the other kids and I don't really miss her

Too much ugliness with the wedding and her in laws and just all of it

He said he didn't really miss her either because she only called or came around when she wanted something

I wonder if it's still my fault

I was blamed for a while because I "hold grudges"

But I don't do it to the extent that I'm rude to her or encouraging others to be rude to her

I think maybe that's projection on her part

Also, everyone here is on to her and I think she knows it

I think it bothers him a whole lot more than he lets on

Maybe he's feeling guilty too for not really missing her that much

It's almost Christmas though. I'm sure she'll make an appearance then

And I'll probably pay through the nose for having an honest discussion with him

He'll probably yank the rug out pretty quick with a meltdown

IDK if his feelings are real. He could just be trying to hoover me

He can feel everyone slipping away

He can try to mend fences or attack us eventually for stepping back

Knowing how he's always been he will probably choose the latter route

I told him I feel bad for him. He insists it's not my fault. That will probably change if SD comes back around

I told him she'll always be your daughter and you can see her any time you like but the kids and I are done

I don't think he really understands what I mean by that

It does hurt him though. He was the one who brought it up in the first place but wanted to change the subject so I did

I never being SD up. He does. I usually change the subject but really wanted to get that off my chest since he brought it up

Hopefully he won't become even more of a raging lunatic over this