SD moved in full time
So much has gone on in the past few months that I'm hoping just getting it out will be therapeutic.
SDstb18 moved in with us fulltime for her senior year of high school. BM reacted horribly when SD told her she wants to live with DH and just got vicious. She canceled her car insurance, phone and took back the car SD had been paying for and sold it (car in BM name since she's under 18). This was all in 1 day so we had to immediately get a new phone, car and insurance in place in less than 48hrs. Stressful but we made it work and SD was extremely grateful.
Since moving in, her grades are all honor roll and she's working 3 part-time jobs. She drives my BD16 to school and home and helps out. She's demonstrating more maturity than her mother by leaps and bounds. We hoped the separation will allow time to cool off and hopefully repair their relationship but BM keeps acting like a slighted high school drama queen instead of a parent. To get back at SD's moving, she donated her clothes and stuff and gave her bedroom to SD13. BM posted pics on Fakebook of SD13 "new bedroom" to rub it in SD17 face. BM is just so hateful in one breath and the next is sending her postings about forgiveness and mother's love. The hypocrisy slays me.
So the latest is BM, who hasn't really seen SD since July on her own accord, wants SD to go over to her house for dinner on Saturday. SD shared the texts from BM with us last night and she's so self-absorbed! SD told her she works 8-12 at job1, 1-4 at job2, and 5-10 at job3 so she could meet at a local restaurant on Sunday for lunch instead before she goes to work. BM told her she's "on a budget" which is hilarious b/c DH is paying a pretty penny in CS for both SD17 & 13 to her and supporting SD17 at our house while BM eats out more often than not. She is insisting SD go over after work (10p) and visit at her house.
This just seems like a recipe for disaster. There will be plenty of time for BM to be good and sloshed by this time. Not to mention whatever scheme she has cooked up. SD is debating offering to take her out to lunch on Sunday for a short time in a public place. DH already told SD that she needs to come home after work on Saturday. That's just too late to be driving around (we live 45 min away from BM).
DH plans on filing after the first of the year to have CS adjusted. SD graduates next spring so getting all the ducks in a row and an end date for SD13 is needed. BM told the SKs that CS pays her mortgage and she won't have a house to live in if DH doesn't pay. She's under the delusion after speaking to her friend that DH will have to pay CS forever.... SMDH! I can't wait to get this woman out of my life.
SD13 drank the toxic BM Kool-Aid but maybe will find her mind when she gets older. DH had to get on her just to get her to answer her phone. Visitation happens only when we have gifts so it's been a little while since we've seen her. Birthday is next month so I know we'll see her sometime then...
All in all, we are getting a rhythm for the household with a few hiccups but nothing major. With work, a death in the family, and travelling, getting back to normal is a priority. Some people have it way worse than us but I really wouldn't mind some quiet time.