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Trying to find the line between standing up for me and my kids....and just being petty

PeanutandSons's picture

OK, you all know how much my in law suck and how the ignore and slight my kids in favor of the skids constantly. If you read my last blog you will see that our current issue is once again that the in-laws go out of their way to celebrate skid birthdays and shower then with gifts and attention....while the completely ignore that my children with dh even exist.

Well, mil tried to sneak behind dhs back and make plans directly with sd10 to pick her up last weekend and take her on a shopping spree for her birthday that was last week. Mi d you this was not even two weeks after they completely blew off bs4s birthday...not even a like on FB to his birthday post b any of them.

Long story short SD did not go with her...both because she was sneaking behind dhs back by texting g with mil directly on her tablet when she isn't allowed to use the texting feature and because she had a horrible behavior report from school. Even though she was told no, mil showed up anyways to get her and dh sent her away but told her to get her next weekend....after I had told him I no longer wanted mil on my property. He agreed at the time.

Mil usually come to get the skids Saturday afternoon on her way home from work...around 3. This is after dh leaves for work, so I am the one there for the exchange. Would it be out of line for me to say that either she gets here before dh leaves so he can deal with her, or she can fuck off and not be at my house?

I want nothing to do with her... And clearly I am the only one willing to stand up for my kids. Is that being petty? Am I just shooting myself in the foot out of spite...mbecsuse if I take a hard line about it I get stuck with the skids all weekend. But to just keep acting like everything is fine seems disloyal to myself and my kids.

Comments

bi's picture

you're not being petty. you know damn well the in laws would have plenty to say if you were throwing big parties for your kids and doing nothing for the skids. you have every right to speak up. several years ago, fdh's "friend" (they don't even talk anymore) moved to the south. she was sending pkgs here with gifts for sd and bs, but nothing for bd. because bd isn't fdh's kid. after 2 or 3 of these pkgs where my daughter was blatantly excluded, i told fdh it's bullshit that she keeps doing this, and he can tell her to include all of the kids or the shit will be sent back unopened. my bff did not do this crap to sd. even though sd has had a problem with bff for no reason since day one, if she bought anything for my kids, she included sd, too. i find it pretty damn ironic that i am watched like a hawk for fairness but the same people hawkeyeing me are the ones who do nothing in the name of fairness themselves. and that's fine. things aren't fair in stepfamilies. but it is bullshit to exclude a kid right in front of their face. at least have the decency to give them gifts privately if you're going to be an ass about it!

PeanutandSons's picture

Yep I get scrutinized and watched like a hawk....but they can do whatever they want. We got a nice camera around Christmas time and I took a bunch of artsy portrait type pictures of my kids the weekend we got it, the skids were with the in laws. I posted a few to FB. She has the nerve to call up dh and bit h and question why I didn't take pictures of the skids like that. Bitch, the skids are in your house! How the flying F am I supposed to take pictures of kids not currently in my possession.

SMof2Girls's picture

You need to let DH know that MIL needs to pick up the skids before he leaves for work. If she isn't, he needs to take the skids with him and drop them off somewhere else.

One other question, are your skids from a previous marriage or with DH?

PeanutandSons's picture

My children are from my marriage to dh.

My skids are from two of dhs previous relationships (he was never married to either bm)

princessmofo's picture

Not petty. Especially if you already laid it on the line for dh about mil not being around.