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patwinmom's picture

Submitted by patwinmom on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 10:28am

I hate when I try to explain to someone my situation and they say: "well you married him you knew what you were getting yourself into!" The F&*% I did! I had no idea what this marriage would bring. I was fine that my H has kids and that I would be a SM. I expect the i'm not listening to you b/c your not my mom bullshit, and expect to not be treated a little bit different being a SM.
It amazes me that things weren't like this from the start, but now it's like living HELL. I had my BDs and my Skids out at a pool one day, a nice older woman came up and asked if they were all mine. I chuckled and said no 2 are and 2 are my step. THe woman just stared at me like she was going to cry. She began to tell me that she met the love of her life and was so happy they got married and after all the nice story she told me that she also had to divorce him because of his kids, she told me she would pray for me. lol at first i thought the woman was crazy but then a few months passed and said to myself holy shit she's right. You never really understand someone until you have been in that situation.
Never in my life did I think being a SM would be so hard, frustrating and sickening. Being a BM is a million times easier than being a SM!!

Comments

Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 10:34am

"well you married him you knew what you were getting yourself into!"
Yea totally, that acid green disclaimer written on his forehead told me everything I was in for!
Welcom to the world of step parenting. If you would like some online resources, say so and I can link a couple good reads to help keep you sane.

patwinmom's picture

Submitted by patwinmom on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 10:38am

I would love that! I feel i am losing my sanity. The only thing that keeps me sane are MY daughters

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 11:02am

yeah it is a damn shame people come out and say that. No one can predict how some BM and BF will take the person they had kids with moving on. I am a BM and SM and I never thought she (BM) would act the way she does......

It never ceases to amaze and disappoint at the same time. I would have thought she would act mature about the situation like I have. If the relationship is over - the best I can do is ask you to take care of your kids..... and i just pray the stepparent in the situation treats them well too.......

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 11:14am

Yeah, well when I met my DH he told me that he had "no baby mama issues" and that I would never get caught up in any drama.

Fast forward to 5 years later. I wish he WOULD tell me that "You knew..." bullshit.

The one thing my husband and I agree on about this whole situation, is that he recognizes that it is harder to be a stepparent than a Bioparent.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

patwinmom's picture

Submitted by patwinmom on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 11:42am

At least he recognizes that fact! People should come with some kind of reports so when you meet them you know the truth, like a carfax. The really sad part is i have 2 BM to deal with, my H actually had 4 kids. 2 to ExG and 2 to EW. I think there is something wrong with me to have ever wanted this :?

patwinmom's picture

Submitted by patwinmom on Thu, 02/18/2010 - 7:51am

I got the you made your bed speach too. My response to that person was F%^& YOU, you have no idea what I go through. I find it easier not to vent to anyone anymore. Crayon you got it right! If my marriage ever fails, I will NEVER date someone who has kids again