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Does this happen to anyone or has happened?

patwinmom's picture

My skids BM does not pay child support. Everytime my DH files, she throws a fit like a 2 year old and gets the kids involved and makes them turn on him. So DH drops the support. For the past 2 years I have told him to take her since she is useless, a liar and does not lift a finger to do anything for these kids. DH always just says i'm tired of fighting and it's not worth it. How is it not worth it? I've got to give DH EW credit she took him for support and never backed down once! So why doesn't he have the balls to stand up to his EG and take her? So confusing...

Comments

Kb3Hooah's picture

Maybe he worries that if he pushes the envelope, she'll fire back with trying to regain custody?

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

Denial's picture

"i'm tired of fighting and it's not worth it" - too tired to fight making the woman accountable for helping with her children?

I agree with your DH, you do get tired of the fighting and you do want peace, but once it's said and done, she'll have to help financially, and then what else could that extra money do for the kids, to better their lives or education.

And - BIG SHAME ON HER for getting the kids involved to turn on DH when he files for the support. Everyone knows the kids getting involved is a huge mistake that leads to deep emotional wounds for them. Look at all the behavior issues the kids from divorce have - you see it everywhere, not just here on STalk. And why do these kids have the issues, because the parents get them involved. Makes me sick.

People not paying or wanting to help with their own children after a divorce, unfortunately happens more than what I used to think. Turn it around - if she had the kids, you bet your a$$ she would go after your DH for child support!

sadstepmom26's picture

My Dumbo didnt make exw pay for anything. didnt ask for any support, no medical insurance or anything. Under the guise of just getting her to sign over custody and disappear.

Life is what you make it.

patwinmom's picture

my DH has had full custody of these 2 for almost their whole life. When BM did have custody (for a very short period) she did take him for support and raped him big time with it. She paid child support once and came to him with a letter saying that if she didn't pay thousands she would be in jail, so he dropped it. Um...excuse me....but she's been in and out of jail, she is a junkie that takes no responsibility for anything and you feel bad for her? So now she thinks that she can do whatever she wants cause she don't have to pay support and plays the oh feel bad for me role. She can't even visit her kids DH takes them to her when he visits his other kids

stepmom008's picture

Knowing all of this, how COULD he let it go? She clearly wouldn't get custody & a lot of agreements state that there should be no interference of the relationship between parent & child. If you could proved PAS, you'd have a really good chance.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

TheWife's picture

My husband is the opposite. We might be going for full custody of SD soon, and I am against making BM pay CS. I think she needs to get her life together. DH, however, is ADAMANT he wants her to pay.

"If I have to pay, she has to pay."

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

TattooQT's picture

I have never had this problem, since we pay the CS not the ex wife. We have a special name for her, it is El C. It is our little spanish term for "the soulsucker". Anyhoo, back to the topic at hand. Your DH probably doesn't want his kids to hate him and he is afraid that if he continues to pursue it when she gets the kids involved for that reason. I get taking the high road and all and not sinking to her level but you are the sole support for the children so she be responsible. Her behavior when your DH tries to pursue CS tells us all just how selfish the woman is Sad

I think that explaining the situation to the kids would be beneficial. Then I would take it a step further by going so far as to explain her behavior in court. Publicly announce that this woman is a total deadbeat, that she doesn't care about her kids' emotional wellbeing and that she doesn't want to contribute to their support. That will get her behavior to stop, make her look bad for once.

I dunno maybe a little too vindictive but selfish people HATE looking bad, it doesn't meet their ego needs. Make it distasteful for her to be so petty and it will stop.

That's just my opinion.