Blew up at SS and now he is being sweet.
I think I scared the living crap out of SS this weekend. Maybe did a little shattering of his distorted world...I will start at the begining. On Friday SS was mad I only let him take 2 peices of candy in his lunch box. DH agreed when I made the statement to the kids that they could pick 2 to stick in there. SS blurts out: "Dad, can't you just marry someone else? I hate mom (that is what he has called me for almost 2 years now)". DH did turn and scold him for being so rotten and apologize, so whatever. Skids being brats is commonplace.
Then on Saturday, SS8 and BS8 were arguing over some video game. I told SS he had to wait his turn. He then looks at BS and with the meanest eyes says "I don't care, you can have it, it's not like you will every be a part of this family anyway!"
I lost my shit. I dragged him upstairs with strength I didn't know I had. Pulled his rotten A$$ into the bathroom and held a bar of soap up to him and said if he ever says anything like that to MY son again I will make sure that he eats this bar of soap. We have to leave shortly after that and he said something and started calling me mom again. I ripped into him. I told him that he was no longer allowed to call me that. If he wants his dad to marry someone else and thinks that making MY kids feel like they don't belong then we will have our family without him. He was pretty quiet for the rest of the day.
We rented a movies Saturday night and SS asked to curl up with me and wasn't up his dad's a$$ for once :jawdrop: . Then on Sunday he came up to hug me 2-3 times for no reason. I feel a little bad for reacting the way I did but at least it seemed to have finally hit a nerve with him.
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Comments
"He then looks at BS and with
"He then looks at BS and with the meanest eyes says "I don't care, you can have it, it's not like you will every be a part of this family anyway!" "
My stepsiblings and I all said things like that to one another for the first few years after our parents got married. We worked it out on our own, without adult intervention.
I will say that SS is probably jealous that some other kid gets to see his dad every day (unless he too lives with you). He went from being an only child to having to having to share his dad with other kids. Your DH needs to help him learn how to share without being a jerk.
We have all three full time
We have all three full time (minus every other weekend). SS is just a little A$$.
Sometimes I think a good
Sometimes I think a good reality check is good for kids. If nothing else to let them know, HEY adults have feelings too & you are being hurtful.
I agree.
I agree.
LOL! I gave up on the
LOL! I gave up on the coddling counselor that we had for SS a while back. She told me that i should let a 8 year old throw a kicking screaming crying temper fit in the parking lot when he doesn't get his way. Then when he calmed down that I should have crayons and paper always ready for him to draw out his feelings... :sick:
I said nope. I will yank him up by the ear, tell him too bad, and get over it. Then I will continue on with what we are doing.
No problem with
No problem with this...Sometimes a reality check is exactly what they need...Also, sometimes worked well for me to remember that they were not my problem and helped me disengage even further...
I didn't say a word when he
I didn't say a word when he was trying to hurt me, but hurt my kid and I will take you out.