So, as I am new here, and I know I have not giving much back-ground information, we just had another weekend with ss16. I should go back to the previous weekend, where I was lied to by obmission from DH, regarding something his ss wanted. Prior to that weekend, ss16 has not sat with us wathcing TV in about 6 months. So during the football game, after the lie by obmission (which is another conflict my DH and I had), DH asks ss to sit and watch TV with, (while I was out of the room for 20 seconds, I heard him call into the other room.) So I decided to watch the game myself in our other TV room, downstairs. Our 4 year old joins me. I did make a comment as I was going downstairs that the timing of him sitting with us, during the game, right after I was lied to, was pathetic. Apparently, this became a big deal between SS16, BM and counselor, that I would not sit and watch TV with him. And also, that I no longer will eat dinner with them, (that started about 2 months ago, maybe I'll blog on that at a different time.) It also may be helpful to note, that I disengaged months ago, fully when I stopped having dinner with everyone. It had not been an issue, and the arguing had stopped. DH even contribued by taking SS work, every weekend, DH admitted he did not have to go, but wanted to get away from me. (SS loves going to his work as well-he gets lunch out, snacks, etc.etc) Anyway, apparently SS no longer likes this, and without consulting me,everyone expects me to just become part of their dynamic again. No, I will not, and I made it clear to DH, I would not this weekend.
So the weekend begins with DH being about 3 hours late getting home with SS, and by his own timeline, he has about an hour which is unaccounted for. - I'm sure he stopped for breakfast or something with his son, but won't admit to it (another arguement on how he always has to take his son out to eat, or to a store and buy him something, never for our bd4)- So, now he's mad that I don't trust him. I go out with our daughter and stay out for a few hours. I come home, and ss and Dh are in sperate room wathcing TV - now I'm questioning why I can't do this, but they can (I'm sure I'll be bringing this up to counselor who has requested to speak with me.) I make myself and my daughter dinner, and the remainder of the night goes by pretty uneventful. The morning comes, and before I go out of my room, SS goes to our basement to watch TV (again self-segregation). He waits about 2 hours (everyone is up at this point), when his father goes in the shower, makes himself breakfast and takes it down stairs. This is the first time he has taking food downstairs, as it is his father's house rules that we do not eat there. It is his character to wait for his father to leave to break a rule. (He also turned the fireplace on, which he is not allowed to by himself.)I do not say anything to him, but let his father know when he comes back. DH tells ss he should not have done this, and that it is obvious that he did it when he was not looking. Not in the harsh voice that he uses when our 4 year old does something wrong - another ongoing arguement. So then, while DH was on his laptop, doing nothing really, I say I am going to leave BD4 with him, so I can go to the supermarket. All the sudden, he and ss have to go to work. So this was a very long way to say that SS broke the rules today, and is now going out to lunch with his Dad.