counselor threatening to call dhs on ss
All because ss17 sleeps in same room with Dh (I sleep in spare). He has been sleeping in same room for about
5 years now. He did have his own room but he was going into my infants daughter's room waking her and then lyinh about it. He is thevtype of kid that needs to shadow his father - that is the only time he stays iut of trouble. so yes they share a room 2x a month but not a bed. He has his own sleeping area.
Anyway tgis is the third time counselor has threatened us. Onceif Dh and I did not go see her and once when she heard that I do not speak to ss. Both bluffs were called but this is getting old.
We have a 5 year old we need to consider and eve. though we have nothing to hode from dhs it is still nerve racking; it puts our daughter u.der the microscope ad well. I have always gotten good reportsvftom her daycare teachers about how happy she is and now het new kindergarten teacher has said the same thing....she is a happy little girl ans well cared for, but I still dont like the idea that we may have to go through this.
Dh has asked Bm tp get another counselor as she is fairly new to ss but Bm won't.
This last threat was in an email so Dh is going to see if he can file a comaint to the board about her.
Anyway counselor does notv realize the real queztion is not if ss will get his own room it but will dh be able to keep overnight visitations
sorry typed from phone
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Comments
Reporting the therapist to
Reporting the therapist to the board will do nothing, as the therapist has done nothing wrong. I realize by the sounds of things that SS is only staying over night a couple of times a month, so why not have him sleep on the couch? An air matress in the basement? Why in the same room as your DH?
Becsuse without him next to
Becsuse without him next to Dh he roams the house and goes into my daughters room I feel very unsafe with him by himself. he has history of violence and has claimed sex and physical abuse from coynselors and teachers. A b
I feel i need to protect my daughter and myself.
He does sleep on air mattress in bedroom with dh. it us a fairly big room so it is not crampt
we were thinking constant threats from a counselor is agaibst rules??
Why don't you just sleep in
Why don't you just sleep in your daughters room on the nights he is there? Then he can sleep on the couch.
I disagree, the therapist IS
I disagree, the therapist IS doing wrong.
Calling dcf shouldn't be used as a threat to force complaince from her clients parents. OP and her Dh not waging to so see her doesn't require a call to child services. OP not speaking to her stepson is not a reason to call child protective services. Neglect and abuse are reasons to call cps, not this type of BS.
The therapist is abusing her power and making threats to gain complaince. That totally unprofessional.
BTW, there is no law that says teenage children can't sleep in the same room as a parent. It's two weekends a month, no different than if they rented a hotel room. Absolutely no reason to call dcf.
Let me clarify he is in own
Let me clarify he is in own bed but in same bedroom
please refer to previous posts where s s has been diagnosed with ADHD on autism spectrum and other nos.
Consulate cannot threaten me if I do not see her she can take away visitation rights which wad one threat. the other was it is child abuse if i do not speak to ss. I do not ignore ss...if he says something i will respond..but i will not initiate and i do not have to
Also I may add this came
Also I may add this came about because we moved in July to a bigger house that has an extra bedroom. this is what s s wants no console had before had a problem with us in all working with
I agree with dh sleeping there is no supervision but somehow this deters ss.
Also he's only here twice a month so I am not sure why we should keep room for him which really is about
16 hours a month.
The therapist can report this
The therapist can report this if she likes, but DHS will do nothing. This is not an abuse or neglect situation. I do think the therapist is wrong (and I am a therapist), but not wrong to the extent that you could report her to the board. It is a judgment call. We are mandated reporters-anytime we have any suspicion of abuse or neglect we must report. Perhaps she feels that there is more going on here? Has a suspicion of some sort of abuse? But if the complaint is simply that twice a month he sleeps in the same room as his father-then this is something that wastes everyone's time. DHS is for kids who are truly being abused and neglected-not just to report poor parenting. It clogs the system and takes time away from children whose lives may be in danger.
That being said- I would personally would not allow him to sleep in the same room as dh. He can sleep on the couch. Put an alarm on your daughter's door as others said or have her sleep with you twice a month. The "kid" is 17, he wont need to do overnights in a year and it will no longer be an issue.
I do want to add-if this kid DOES have sexual abuse issues-he definitely does not need to be sleeping in the same room as your dh-I dont know who abused the kid-but it puts your dh at risk to sleep in the same room-perhaps your ss has made allegations against your dh?
He has never been abused by
He has never been abused by anyone. He figured out that if he reports abuse the person he says will be investigated. he has done this to counselors and teachers after arguements with them.
I knew typing this i would get slack for the same room bit but i am surprised no one is saying just stop overbight visits. the other suggestions ive received are as much a band aid solution as wjat we have going on now. stopping ovetnight visits will end this easily.
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Thank you and I agree. this
Thank you and I agree. this counselor has had it out for dh when he was unable to make her meetings. It is a 2 hour trip from where dh works to her office (ss lives next state over)dh has always gone to meet counselors at night or on weekends and for some reason she dislikes his unwillingness to skip a days work for this.
Again if Bm would switch counselors this would be over. Bm changed counselors based on location.
Thanks for all the advice. I
Thanks for all the advice. I was at work today when typing so I missed some posts and just re-read some I had previously read. I missed some good points