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BM has done a 180...

overit4tenyrs's picture

So BM calls my cell phone, this is her only way to contact me because I cut off email and dont answer the house phone if its her on caller id. I answered because the SD17 was with her this weekend. BM seems genuine but says she has seen the light as far as SD17 is concerned and doesnt know how I have put up with her all these years. BM is tired of SD17's attitude at her house, her sense of entitlment and disrespect. :O Gee...welcome to my world! Anyhow, she tells me that she ownes DH and I a thousand apologies for how she has acted over the years and knows that we will never beleive her, but she is trying to be genuine. She swears she wants to be involved with SD17 now, be a "mother" as she puts it. Gee..how nice when there is only a few months left to go Blum 3 Oh yes and she promises to send the child support since she understands what we are "putting up with" now. REALLY?? IMAGINE THAT??!!!!!! OMG

So I am feeling alot of things right now. I am bewildered that she "has seen the light" and now wants to be involved. Whatever...better late than never I guess...but don't question us and our parental decisions when you come along at the ninth hour and want to have input. Secondarily, I find it amusing that SD17 is showing her true colors somewhere else and not just at home. See I am not the raging bitch afterall! HOWEVER, if I was BM I would never had said or admitted this stuff to me. SO I am thinking there must be alterior motive or maybe BM is a loser mom like I have thought all these years and really thinks those things. Oh yes, BM says she didn't call DH because she knows he would not have answered thinking she was being a nut job again (her own words) She claims to be in therapy and on meds for her bipolar disorder. Great! Like I havnt heard this how many times in the past ten years? She has NEVER said this stuff about SD17 though, or apologized for her behavior to DH and I until now. Thoughts?

Comments

prayerhelps's picture

BPD BPD---my BM does this every now and then---sees the light, is going to change, will support our decisions---ladaladala---then after week she is back badmouthing us to SD, being SD friend, rather than mom, and believeing the lying SDemon16 has been saying to her again, and trying to stir the pot up at our stable loving home. I would watch your step on this one if she is in therapy for Bipolar---very similar to Borderline Personalty--I don't know how sincere. If she is on meds, there is a good chance that she will do well for an extended period of time (unlike a BPD). Good Luck

MeanOleMe's picture

Be careful. Hopefully she is being genuine, but don't give her the opportunity to use your words or actions against you.

"I will not take responsibility, where I do not have authority." ~ MeanOleMe

startingover2010's picture

maybe because sd is going to be 18 soon, and bm can legally be out of her life, and stop paying cs, that she wants to clear the air. make herself feel better maybe.

dont expect money from her. excuses will come each month till cs stops at sd's 18th bday.

Gestalt's picture

I hope she's genuine, I hope you can give her a chance (without putting anything at real risk in the event that this is just part of a cycle). Maybe her daughter getting older has made her think about how she has been acting.

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

Kb3Hooah's picture

BM and I have had our share of differences, she was a very vindictive person in the past. I had actually reached out to her before she did me only to be shot down and told to go F* off. I'm not sure what or why she changed but she wanted to put the past behind us and try to have at the least an amicable relationship for our own sanity and for the kids. I accepted, but I think we are both still a little cautious with one another. She has apologized and admitted her wrong doing and did sound sincere about it. She has since proven her sincerity and I can honestly tell a difference in her character.

So who knows if your BM is actually being sincere or not, I don't think analyzing it will bring forth the truth any faster. I think that the truth will come out in time, so I would graciously accept her apology but at the same time remain cautious. If she really is sincere, this is a good thing, and it will show with time. It will bring you guys more peace, and will definitely benefit your SD for the better.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

alwaysme's picture

Always keep your guard up though, i believe the theory keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer, which could be what she is doing, she could be up to something so beware. Hopefully for you though she is genuine. Our BM is the same one minute she is being all lovely with DH and the next she is threatening him. I am always telling him to never trust her, and sure enough i am right every time. He has finally realised it.

Be Careful

b1tchplease's picture

Nutty McDougal called last week and in one of her non-manic moments, wanted to apologize to DBF and I. DBF told her that he didn't want to hear it because she's a compulsive liar and will do anything to get an inch. Then she said she wanted to apologize to me if he didn't want to hear it. He asked me if I wanted to listen to her, I said no, put it in writing. I still haven't received a letter or an email. I knew the bitch was playing games. DBF is onto her and realizes how full of shit she is. He gets mad at himself because he fooled around with somebody like her. I laugh at him because I've made my fair share of mistakes too, I just never had a child with it!

No one can make you feel inferior with your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt