Celebrated my sons bday-and a relatively nice wknd w/SD..whew
Well, this wknd my son turned 12 Bf and I decided to host our first low country boil and it was MARVELOUS!!! I worked hard for a couple days cleanign house, the yard, the sunroom was spotless -where I set up the tables...the lighting was perfect...looked great.
We ended up using 3 big pots to do all of the food- my wallet was hit w/the cost of that crab and shrimp lol. Was family and just a couple neighbor kids. Unfortunately my ex came also. He heard we were doing something at my house and volunteered his presence (UGHHH)- there were some odd moments when he came in (late-how unusual) rather then ASK where he shoudl sit, sat down next to my brother...bf and i were ready to sit right then also as we were busy hosting and i'm pretty damn sure that was my bf's spot. BUT then ex would have sat by me so the bf took one for the team and sat by him. He later joked to my mom abotu it and she retorted back with "hey i had to do it 10 years it's someone elses turn" lol. Of course ex tried to manipulate the conversation w/my parents and brothers for him to be center of attention-as usual-and kept chosing his native language. A couple times bf got close to saying something and didn't...but he sure vented to me later. I assured him we will make sure there is no other joint venture in the future. I KNOW it had to be weird for him...I would have been weirded out in his place also-and I hate that he was uncomfortable. Personally I wish sometimes he was cordial enough w/his ex where he understood my position w/my ex...but I still respect his feelings about it.
Overall w/SD it went well-she had a few moments I wanted to sock her-but there were a few moments I wanted to sock mine too lol-but it was a long wknd-they did spend the night fri and sat night-and the mornings went ok, she did help me a lot w/cleanup for the party and was affectionate...she can't help herself to be rude and bossy w/the boys sometimes and sometimes ignore me-but i saw an improvement over other wknds. I didn't feel mad/tense/upset the whole time-GRANTED I stayed w/a full supply of alcohol all wknd too haha....BUT really it was ok-maybe because bf and I were on very good terms and didn't approach this wknd tense, dreading and worried and uptight, and I really firmly believe that our outlook/attitude towards the visitation this wknd, really helped w/the kids vibe between them. Perhaps I was so focused on the bday hosting that I failed to notice glitches
Another cool thing that happened-the SD made him a clue/treasure map to find the gift bf had for him and hid the clues all over the house- the present was one of bf's treasured guitars. He has quite a few he collects over the years and never once has sold/given one away so it was very meaningful to me and my son....certainly more valuable then going to buy him a new one. And if HE can put that much love and time into my kids for ME...I certainly can try and return the favor out of love for HIM. At least I HAVE to keep trying.