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Amazed at how 11yr olds can speak these days~

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 3:52pm

Ok-so I'm a pretty strict parent w/my bios about which friends they are allowed to be with.

I met this one kid that lives close by last year that came to my sons bday-met his mom they just seemed a little off...the kid seemed to be obnoxious and mouthy. I allowed it a chance though-but quickly put an end when the kid would start showing up at my house unnanounced. The rule is you call, find out if we're home THEN if invited you can come by. AND the mom seemed the type to never "reciprocate" if that makes sense.

Anyway-after this they stopped hanging out, saw eachother in school but recently my son has been asking to see him again.

Well, they talk on the phone and my son says his mom said he could come by for a bit-i get on the phone to confirm and drive him over because it's raining-they live 2 blocks away.
5 min later the boys are BOTH back at my house?? WTH?? So, ok...not sure why we didn't agree to this.
5 min after this the mom calls and says the kid has another friend show up and has to go to his dads and needs to come home-talks to her son on the phone. I'm thinking wth?? Why agree to a playdate and then do all this???

Anyways-the kid hangs up and says-oh well gotta go home...my mom is in another one of her states, crazy stuff again..like an orgasm or something.

I was like WHAT did you just say? Do you even know what that means? He says..yeah, like shes' crying and having a moment and in a bad mood I guess. This in front of my two kids of course....

I say, no that's not what it means and please don't say that here again.

So, he leaves I tell my son he's not allowed to hang out anymore-the kids attitude of disrespect towards his mom doesn't fly (not that she doesn't seem nutso but still)...perhaps he hears his NC dad talk crap about his mom and repeats it? Dont' know-but I know my son will not hang around kids that disrespect their moms to others. WTH...when/how do kids get this way??

The worst part is the friendship thing is a struggle...his best friend is moving out of state and he really doesn't have any kids his age that I would allow him to hang with.

Gosh time to move from this neighborhood and get in a different school. Can't wait for middle school next year ugggh

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 4:03pm

I'm with you. The stuff that comes out of skids mouths sometimes. Thus far I've heard tits, teabag, and a number of other interesting things. I would never let my own child talk like that. I always ask, so do you actually know what that means? Often they don't. To make SO uncomfortable and realize how trashy it shouds, I make him explain.

mombydefault's picture

Submitted by mombydefault on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 5:16pm

Maybe they went back to your house because it's more fun there or even just more of a comfortable, normal environment. It may be annoying, but consider it a compliment unless the other mom told them to go to your house.

My skid has asked what certain sexual terminology means after hanging out w/2 particular friends. One of the friends is a perfect angel in front of us and seems to be a very respectful kid. He's a totally different child when parents aren't watching and his own mother does not supervise him. The other child is a good kid and I know his parents didn't raise him to say the things he's saying. Overall they have potential to be good kids though. We limit the time skid is allowed to play at the kids house who's mom doesn't supervise. We welcome them in our home and on outings with us. We figure we can be the good influence in their life. We're very strict, but also younger and more fun than some of the other parents. The little boys admire my DH b/c he skateboards and plays games w/them, but they also know to watch what they say around us because they are required to behave and act appropriately when in our presence.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 9:00am

Yes...I know this-normally all the kids want to come to my house. We are also young, we let them jam out, my bf will play guitar for them...so they like coming here. And YES it's the more normal environment-I think my son just wanted to get out of the house a bit...BUT for the most part I prefer and almost always have the friends come to MY place. I prefer it so I know what's going on and can supervise and pay attention.

We are thinking of getting a bigger house w/my bf in a couple years-we want a nice set up in the basement for the kids to hang out in, maybe a pool...i rather my house be the "to go to" place for their friends. I just feel I can stay on top of things more and look for trouble signs Smile I was a teen once Wink

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:24pm

ditto this. DH has a very colorful vocabulary and his kids are learning quickly. i think their BM is just getting lazy at this point about discipline.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 10:23am

Yeah my SS12 (who had just turned 11 at the time) sent a text message to his "girlfriend" telling her that she was a slut and a whore because she wasn't responding to his texts. apparently poor girl's phone was dead which was why she was not responding. She "broke up" with him shortly after because she said he was too immature. Ya think??? why can't BM see this?? Why does an 11 year old even need a "girlfriend"?? Drives my DH nutso because when he tells BM that he doesn't like it, BM says "oh, he's just being social"

If I found out that my son called ANYONE a slut and a whore, I would be loading him in the car and he would be making a face to face apology and his cell phone would be gone.... but perfect, precious SS is just being social. GAG!

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:25pm

OMG, I don't care if I NEVER have discipline rights over skids I would probably lose control on that one. That is crazy.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:33pm

Yes, this stuff is pretty common place for kids nowadays. My dd13 had a boyfriend last year-if that's what you want to call him-they had no contact out of school-but they broke up and he started calling her a whore. In fact he did this daily and she came home in tears-I finally called the school and told him it had to stop-as soon not only was he saying it but other kids jumped on teh bandwagon. Sadly to my dismay-she just started going out with him again about a year after they broke up. I have tried to be positive about it-saying ok that was his one mistake and hopefully he has grown and matured in the last year-but what is so messed up is that HIS mom disapproves of her precious dating my dd because she got him into trouble.

My dd13 has classmates that post all kinds of filth all over facebook. I am completely astonished-I've known some of these kids since they've been 5 and the things they say make me cringe. I am thankful that none of my kids have prblems with potty mouths. My kids will occassionally say "freakin" which always gets them sharply reprimanded. But that's the worst I've heard. SS12 has been suspended twice this year for foul language-the first time he called another boy a "little bitch" and the second time he told a classmate in class to "shut the fuck up". Lovely.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 5:31pm

I had no idea. I only have steps, no kids of my own yet. My rules will be vastly different.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 8:48pm

Our youth pastor is awesome-he is friends with the kids on facebook and will call them out on anything remotely inappropriate. There were alot of kids putting-WTF? and FML and he called them all out on it (none of my kids thank goodness) but kids were putting these abbreviations so casually not even really thinking what they meant?