How do I cope?!
I've been reading alot about disengagement but I currently can't do that. When ss12 comes round he causes arguments between my husband and I usually by shit stirring or being so disrespectful to me that the house ends up being tense.
Everytime he's here I end up locking myself in the bedroom to avoid confrontation or any form of encounter with him the kid is a brat!
What makes it worse is his demon mum allows him to misbehave and regardless what DH says he only behaves when there are others around.
I have a 7 month old daughter and infront of others hes loving and playful, but I've caught him pretending to sleep so not to deal with her in the car or ignoring her when she crawls to him to play, but as soon as dh is around he seems so interested and I worry to what extent his pretence of interest would be if I wasn't there to take her away when he ignores her.
I also worry that as she grows up she'll pick up on his attitude and feel it's ok to treat people the same as her brother so clearly gets away with it.
I've told Dh I've had enough and he needs to find a way to solve it, and I don't want to be that sm that says hes not welcome anymore but I'm at my wits end. His mum has made things so hard for us for years and now hes growing up and almost acting like his mum that it worries me.