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MIL 0 vs 1LIFE 2

One Life Once Chance's picture

My MIL, from day one has been nothing more than a pain in the a$$. She always liked me until her son getting married and starting a family with me meant she lost her gardener, landscaper, plumber, electrician, best friend, and good old Mr. Fix It.

She would call 2 - 3 times a day, or make up stupid things that she needed help with and DH would go running, no matter what we had planned. SOOOOOO, for the last 1 1/2 years of fighting over this, he finally saw my side. Our house had to take priority (he really saw this when he went over one night and realized the thing she claimed was broken, had been broken intentionally).

He laid down the law finally and she now has to do it herself or find someone else - our plans, projects, and household comes first. HENCE our next problem - for the last few months, she now stops by every Saturday or Sunday - or sometimes both. Various times, uninvited, unannounced to see her grandson, our BS2. She likes to walk in without knocking and likes to make many comments about how she used to have a son until he got married.

Well, the other nail in her coffin is that with drug addict SS18 that my DH has no contact with, DH told Good Old Grandma (who is also a cop) - no cash or gifts that he can sell for cash due to his drug use. We have not seen him for a year, but guess who finally returned Grandma's call when she offered to pay cash to do yardwork ($20/hr - real nice). Her excuse is, well if you would help me like you used to - I wouldn't have to. I know she is contacting SS18 out of spite to "stick it to DH" - make a point. And guess who is to blame for all of her dysfunction - good old 1Life. DH would go over more if it weren't for me, SS18 would come around more if it weren't for me demanding he not be high around our BS2. MIL has even said, 1Life - you just wait, I'll win this one.

WELL BITCH - YOU JUST WAIT - 1LIFE WINS!!!!! Last week DH took MIL out to lunch to discuss these uninvited/unannounced visits.

We got home last night after dinner out with BS2. We both had been up since midnight the night before, long day, BS2 tired with full belly and we were ready to just go in, settle and go to bed once BS2 passed out for the night. We pulled into the driveway and guess who was sitting on our porch. DH gets out of the truck and asked how long she had been waiting - she said 30 minutes, knew we'd eventually come home. DH takes his cell phone out of his holster, opens it and says "Funny, I don't see any missed calls, now what did I just tell you about this." She said she wanted to spend time with our BS2 before he went to bed and possibly tuck him in. To which DH replied, "now is not a good time for us mother, you should have called - turned to me - 1Life, get BS2 inside and ready for bed - I'll be in very soon".

I got BS2 inside and heard DH yelliing - within minutes he came in and said, sorry honey - I don't think she'll be coming over uninvited again.

He said he felt like she was trying to challenge the rules of his house and slap his wife in the face and was sick and tired of it, especially since I told him just how those uninvited, open the door up, come on in visits make me feel.

I am so proud of him!!!!!! I know she will challenge this again, it will take about 6-8 unsuccessful attempts for her to get the hint. BUT YEAH HUBBY!

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One Life Once Chance's picture

My DH has really gotten his priorities straight the past year. He stopped being a guilty daddy and tried to do whatever he could to get his son off drugs, be a productive member of society.

He is now putting me, his wife, our BS2, and our household first. His Ex no longer controls our house, or our money. SS18 no longer controls our house, or our money.

Unfortunately, by him manning up and doing the right thing - he no longer has contact with his eldest - major drug addict that won't speak to DH because DH laid down the law. He couldn't come to our house anymore smelling like pot and being whacked out of his mind on marijuana and acid (we have a 2 year old to protect). We had guys showing up at our house looking for money he owed when DH was at work, just me and our son home. Not good.

And now what his own mother is doing, I'm sure he'll phase her out too. He's tired, he's had enough. At times I'm happy that SS doesn't come around because of the daily drama and fear we had at home when we were engaged with him, but other times I'm sad for my DH. He has a child that he has no idea is alive or dead, only can assume at this point the next call may be the "he's overdosed" call.

My DH has allowed MIL, EX, SS, and everyone else walk all over him for years, because he is a nice guy who wants to make EVERYONE happy. When the drug stuff came up - he really sees he will never make everyone happy and he has to protect his life for a change.