Ugh, this is giving me a headache and I want to be sure I understand this because we are a fuck-up of cross-state mess: BM and SS live in Indiana, the support order was, and is maintained in/under Illinois jurisdiction, DH and I live in NY.

Okay, so my questions are based on the hypothetical event that DH passes away before SS turns 18 (as per IL's order, 19 if it gets modified to an IN order) and based on these factors:

1. NY, IL, and IN does NOT terminate a CS order upon the death of the payor, it is held against their estate and will continue until the child is emancipated/money runs out in the estate.
2. I am reading that the statutory CS laws trump any will/divorce decree/pre-up/post-nup by the payor and trumps any other claims by other heirs, named beneficiary or otherwise (but please correct me if I'm wrong.)
3. NY is an equitable distribution state, and upon divorce, the assets are looked at, not by whose name is on the title, but by what was paid by who. I am UNCERTAIN as whether or not equitable distribution applies to death as well.

So my question is, based on these factors, can a judge order, despite the fact that I am the only person on the deed for all of my houses (two of which were acquired before marriage so they likely don't count in equitable distribution, but the last one, despite me purchasing it on my own from my parents, is acquired after marriage), not only for the CS order to continue against his "estate" but also take into account equitable distribution and name a portion of the new house as part of his estate from which the CS can be taken out of?

I don't care if they get all of his retirement (since apparently it will be counted as part of his estate from which CS trumps the beneficiary), nor do I care if they get his life insurance (even though they are not the beneficiary), or his car, or the Social Security survivor's benefits, but I care about this house (I lived in it for 5 years before I married DH and my parents so nicely decided to sell it to me at a really good price.)

Also, all together, his retirement and his life insurance combined do not cover the total CS left over for the next 13 years as of this moment, which is why I'm asking whether the remainder would be taken from my assets if NY looks part of my assets as his estate due to the equitable distribution law. It would, obviously, eventually cover it as his retirement fund goes up and the remaining CS goes down, but right now it only covers half.

Oddly enough, the CS order also trumps any support for our daughter from his estate (meaning, whatever's leftover after the CS order has been fulfilled then goes to his beneficiaries/surviving spouses/children so if the estate is left destitute after the CS order collection, the surviving child in the intact marriage is SOL), since there is no support order which is strange as whale balls to me because both children should be provided for, yes? But the law is strange.

Anyone either been through this or know someone who did?

I'm thinking of talking to a lawyer about this ASAP, and if necessary, divorce and take a CS order (which DH would agree to.)