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Father's Day - Expecting Too Much

noidea1010's picture

So I've been stalking the site looking for FD stories, trying to figure out if I'm just way overboard or what. Finally decided I would just post it and get some feedback, good or bad. I like to know when I should back off a bit.

So I asked SD12 what she was planning to do for her father for FD. She said make him a really nice card. Ok...And? I offered to take her to the store so that she could buy him something with her allowance. She doesn't have any because she hasn't been doing her chores. Ok, well she got 3 A's in school SO promised to pay her $5 for every A. Let's take that to the store and she can get him something. (He would be thrilled if she got him a Special Dark Chocolate Hershey bar, it's not like I'm expecting something big, just something with some thought in it.) Let's just say that SD12 was less they excited at the prospect of spending her money on her dad, who buys her whatever she wants.

So it turns out SO's mom wanted SD12 for Friday and Saturday night. Saturday, I send SD a text reminding her to make a nice card for her dad since I wouldn't get the chance to take her to the store. She says K. SO and I show up at his parent's house and she presents him with a card that she spent less then 5 mins on. SD can draw really well. Instead there is a fabulous picture she drew of herself as a My Little Pony, colored, lots of detail, etc. I picked up the card, checked it out, set it down without comment. SO knew I was not impressed at all. He mentions it to SD later, jokingly, about her lack of effort in the card. IMO, by joking about it, she didn't take him seriously at all.

SO kind of gave me the impression that he wanted me to pick up her slack. Last year, I did. This year, I know a bit more and quite frankly, he's not my father or the father of my children, I really shouldn't have to pick of the slack of his ungrateful child.

Maybe I'm being to harsh, but that's certainly the way I feel right now.

Comments

observer's picture

You cannot force a child to be good to a parent, especially after a divorce.

I am sorry you feel that's expected of you.

Preggo and Resentful's picture

You are not harsh. He is not your father, these are not your kids. She is old enough to prepare something for dad for FD. Don't feel guilty, don't blame yourself.