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Just why.....

NattyLocsQueen's picture

DH allows the BM to take the boys out of state to go see "Noah's Ark". By Tuesday of this week, she told him that they almost lost my oldest bonus son via drowning because him and his biological sister were left unattended at the pool. The grandparents were drunk and wasn't watching them. I was so pissed and I just looked at him and walked off. I was quiet all day til he had to ask what's wrong. Like I've told him, I'm disappointed in his dumb decision knowing that she is on the Child Abuse Registry. He told me he chose to let them go with her and wasn't looking for an approval. It has nothing to do with approval. It has a lot to do with using common sense!!!!! So, hopeful she'll bring them back Sunday. Also, CO states under his discretion, she can have supervised visits. All of that failed. She wasn't suppose to take them out of state either but his decision though. Sooo, as soon as the boys get home, I'll get the rest of the info and then report to CPS. I don't care how anyone feels. That's putting all of us in harms way all because I have a son with him which means we're connect with the kids from that.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

I'm confused by how his decision to allow HIS children with HER to to go on some vacation has anything to do with kids that you have with him?

I'm not saying it was a wise decision to let someone on whatever registry that is have the kids for a fairly unsupervised trip out of state.. but how does them doing that impact your child?

NattyLocsQueen's picture

See, I have a 2 year old son with him. Therefore, that's his boys biological brother as well as my kids brother. When my stepsons watched their biological mother's child (who's for another father), get taken away, CPS informed us due to the fact her siblings are in our care. Therefore, I have to make sure our 2 year old and my biological kids don't get caught up in this BS.

bananaseedo's picture

I can understand this- it sounds as if you are prepared to end the marriage.  Would they even know it's you that reported it if it's annonymous though?  For all they know someone at the place they were at could have called it in?

ESMOD's picture

Did CPS say that he was not allowed to let her have access to the other two kids?  Has she in fact been convicted at this point?

I don't see how him letting her have access to her kids could blow back on anything to do with your child.. he didn't let your child go with them.  

Honestly,   the only thing I see happening that could be bad is if you call CPS attention to this.. then they will get involved.. they might otherwise not even know about it.  

and.. yeah.. if you make the call.. you are dropping the dime on your spouse.. expect him to not take that well.. it could result in divorce and him having visitation with your joint child without you present.. that could be a worse outcome in reality.

tog redux's picture

She said that the mother is supposed to have supervised visits. So yes, it's a CPS issue. And they will investigate the care of every child in the home. If he's found neglectful it will be for all the kids, including hers. 

Harry's picture

You have just the same right to make decisions on what they do, go.  Your main problem is DH. He still does understand what your feelings are. And have the same rights that he does,  I would disengage with the circus if these kids go with BM.  Put more responsibility and more work on DH to take care of his kids.  He doesn't want your input, then he doesn't get your work and effort.  He will Now cook, clean, take care of his kids. By himself 

This May end your marriage, but then do you really have a equal marriage 

notarelative's picture

BM is on the child abuse registry! Here being on the registry would preclude her from having unsupervised visits. But, in this case, from your post it appears the grandparents (her parents?) were along on the trip. Where they supposed to be supervising?

If visitation is at DH's discretion, and he approved the grandparents as supervisors (and they are not on the registry), for this trip DH would probably clear CPS here. But, after knowing what happened, if he allows them to supervise CPS will not be happy.

If there is any blowback from this, here it would not remove your children, but it might remove  his kids with BM from his care. 

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Did ems see him? How long was he under ? He could have damage that needs to be looked at. I support you . I would be fricking furious too. How can you trust him to make the best parenting decisions for your mutual little when he clearly isn't for your SS

NattyLocsQueen's picture

Nope! No ems came nor was he examined. DH said that his sister drowned was brought back to life. Soooo, I'm sleeping alone now and pretty fine with it. My kids are safe with me and I will be winning custody of me and the DH son since he's more concerned about kids having fun than their safety around someone he knew that was incompetent 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I don't blame you, especially since you have a child with DH 

If he is going to make poor decisions, I would want it documented too in the event you do split up and have to decide custody and visitation.

NattyLocsQueen's picture

I'm recording everything to cover me and mines. I'm so over it. This was a deal breaker.