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Cross-dimensional (between houses) eating habits

myspoonistoobig's picture

My husband and I eat a primarily plant-based diet. We are by no means completely vegan or vegetarian, but I avoid processed foods when at all possible, and we eat A LOT of vegetables.

This was the list of food we are asked to feed SS during his stay.

turkey cold cuts
green grapes
chewy chocolate-chip granola bars
thin mint girl scout cookies
quaker oat squares
apple jacks
pancakes sprinkled with sugar
hash browns
spaghetti with meatballs
peanut butter and jelly
mac and cheese
chicken nuggets
green beans
taco (no veg, just meat and shell)
french fries
cheese sticks
corn on the cob
corn dogs
hot dogs
chocolate chip cookies
root beer
fruit snacks
gummy worms
goldfish crackers

Of the 40-ish items on this list, I am willing to feed him 10 served as described. The rest I will have to probably modify, and there are 22 items that I won't feed him.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not deliberately trying to direct my step-son's eating habits. That pesky nonsense is on his mother and father. However, I will not feed him things here that I won't feed to his sisters. My house, my rules.

So I guess I'm just curious about everyone else's experiences with different eating styles house to house. How does that work out for you? Do you have a lot of problems getting the kids to adapt to the changes? Any tricks you've used to get kids to eat vegetables that don't involve wrapping them with bacon or slathering them with butter? Not saying it's awful if you do, I'm sure it's quite tasty, but that's just not how shit goes down in mi casa.

Preemptive thanks for your feedback!


myspoonistoobig's picture

True, I'm just not looking forward to the inevitable nonsense from BM "Well I don't agree with not giving him meat every day."

It's going to be hard not to say "Well you can SUCK IT!"


KiFire's picture

While our diet does have much more meat than yours it's also severely lacking in the processed stuff SD7 enjoys. FDH is a Celiac and BS3 has a dairy protein intolerance. It leaves very few options for easy food. Most of our meals are meat and veg.

SD7 went hungry between meals a few times (a lot of times), but once it sank in to her skull that FDH and I weren't worried, or even bothered by her skipping meals, she sort of got over it. She didn't magically start eating better but she slowly got better - not eating veggies but at least eating real meat and rice. Working on veggies now.

BM1 is APPALLED we let her go to bed hungry. FDH told her he wasn't discussing it with her. She threatened to call DCF, we laughed at her. She bitches to her friends but IDGAF. She feeds this poor kid so much junk that at 7 she weighs over 70lbs. And no, she's not just tall. I'm not exactly worried SD7 is going to waste away. Being overweight as a teen and as an adult is a choice, being overweight and under 8 years old is a parent failing.

luchay's picture

I have 2 skids, and 2 dd's at home (technically 3 dd's - but the oldest is nearly 21 and takes care of her own meals)

I guess it would be different if OH and I shared bio kids, but we don't.

SD is turning 13 very soon and eats a lot. She's not fond of vegies or fruit, prefers steak and chips, sausages and chips, tacos - lots of meat and cheese - not so much with the salad stuffs, you get the picture - she loves meat and carbs, and sauces/mayo - usually will have 3 kinds of sauce AND mayo on anything she is eating.

SS eats - nuggets, sausages in bread (with the ends of the sausages cut off, taco shells with cheese, chicken schnitzel, sometimes cucumber... that's about it really.

OK, I cook steak sometimes, tacos occasionally, the rest of that crap next to never LOL My dd's eat stir fry (and not just the chicken and sauce which SD would do), spaghetti bol., lasagne, pasta of any kind really with whatever sauce I put on it, casserole, salad, vegies, roast - you get the picture - I cook it they eat it - simple! We do have snacks - biscuits, ice cream, freddo frogs. They are once a day or sometimes (ice cream) foods. My girls ASK before helping themselves and wouldn't dream of just opening something and hoeing in which SD would do.

I have had to adjust my menu for when the skids are here (oh, no matter what it is if *I* cook it they wouldn't eat it/didn't like it) So, now on their nights we eat sausages (blerk) with salad or vegies, mash potatoes or chips; We do burgers, where I lay it all out and they help themselves; we do home made pizza - again I lay it all out and they pick what they want. My OH is the main cook on those nights - they will eat what he cooks no matter what - burnt offerings? We LOOOOOVEEEE this DADDDDYYYYY!! WTF ever.

MY kids - on those nights I-m so happy will eat salad, vegies, the works - dd7 doesn't like burgers, she'll have cheese and salad LOL; The point I guess is that mine eat the healthy stuff and we compromise on some of the crap. My kids are small and slight, they dance 7 and 9 hours a week so they get PLENTY of exercise, and I have had to lighten up on them not having junk. His will just eat the junk, and I have to let that go - not my kid not my problem.

When mine have said "why do we have to eat cauliflower (eg) and they don't?" I tell them "because I am your mummy and I love you and it's my job to make sure you grow up healthy and happy, and part of that is teaching you the right foods to eat. SD and SS have their own mum and dad - so it's not my job to teach them how to eat right."

Do I like having to do this? NO. But it's a compromise I can live with. It won't kill my kids to eat that stuff sometimes, I would prefer OH stepped up and got his kids eating better, but nothing I can do to make that happen.

We did have a situation last Easter - the week before Easter I served stir fry, and BM carried on about it, How DARE I try and force her son to eat that!!! (LMAO) She even told SS "don't worry, you don't have to eat what SHE cooks, you just wait until you get home and I'll make you something you like!" (nutjob) Easter - we weren't allowed to have them over the actual Easter weekend, so we had them the Wednesday night before and we decided to lash out and treat them all, we did the egg hunt, then had hot cross buns for tea!! The kids had the choc chip ones. Now to be clear - this was a once only thing, we don't do it all the time, hasn't even happened since. Well, that night she was all up in arms about how crap we were for serving her kids chocolate rolls for tea? Where is their "proper" dinner???? (like the nuggets she would have cooked them?)

Can't win for trying.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Good lord with the crazy! I'm trying to think of creative ways to "compromise" like making vegetarian meatballs and chicken nuggets made with chickpeas. I'll have to make it all myself because I'm not a fan of most of the additives they put in "substitute" foods that are prepackaged, but it could be worth it.

Shook's picture

OK Worthington's vegetarian "meats" tastes pretty much like the real thing. Here's a bunch of veggie brands that taste like the real thing:

Litelife veggie "sausages" for breakfast
Litelife veggie "meat" for tacos & meatballs
Veggie dogs for corndogs
Falafel mix deep fried wrapped in warm flour tortilla's is amazing
Quoron veggie cheese "burgers" delish
Boca burger "spicy chicken" patties
Buy frozen empanada disk & stuff with potatoes & cheese...delish!!
Mash potatoes---kids love them
Homemade Mac & cheese or Annie's organic box
Trader Joe's frozen pizza dough (put any topping, this dough rocks)
Trader Joe's pizza dough for calzones with cheese, spinach & love these

Ice cream, homemade or the gourmet ones from the healthfood store or Whole Foods or Trader Joes, all excellent.

Buy a soda stream machine to make your own homemade sodas. I could go on, tons to choose from...

Shook's picture

Oh & choking reminded me, Vegetarian spring rolls. Even the pickiest kid will gobble them down.

bulletproof's picture

I agree with you completely. SS is walking into new customs with food when he arrives next week, purely because we want to feed our daughter better.

As far as sneaking in veggies, you could make a smoothie. I drink one daily. I make it with a mix of frozen berries, yogurt, a banana, raw baby spinach, and a few raw baby carrots. I add either water or almond milk for the liquid and some ice cubes and blend. You can't taste the veggies at all!

luchay's picture

Lol i made rissoles a few times thinking to sneak in the vegies.... ss picked out the finely grated carrot and onion but he missed the zucchini!!! I was amazed to see him sit tthere are pick the bloody thing apart basically shredding it!!!!!

PestyBrattyMama's picture

When I moved in with DH nearly 4 years ago SS(now)10 was the pickiest eater I'd ever known. If it wasn't a PB sandwich or something processed, frozen, and nugget shaped or out of a McDonald's box he had no interest in it. DH and his kids thought for a moment that I was actually going to make separate meals for kids and adults like BM did. Hahahahaha. No way in Hell. I laid down my law - if DH wanted me to cook I would be making one meal for every one. I would not be catering to any one person.

We eat processed food once in awhile but usually we would have healthy meals. BM chalked that up to one more way I'm so horrible to her kids. But you know what's happened? While BM has made chicken nuggets and mac n cheese for them for years and a salad for herself - We have had family dinners together and the kids have developed really expanded taste! I'm surprised now at the things they (especially SS10) like to eat. It makes me really happy that they enjoy mealtime and that it was something that I was able to make a difference in even though it's sort of silly. DH is shocked sometimes and happy that it's not a battle anymore. Once the kids knew all we expected was them to try a couple bites and then if they really didn't like something they could have a sandwich there were no more fights because there was nothing to fight about.

As for BM, I strongly feel, as does DH, our house, our rules. You're providing the kid with nourishment, there's nothing to complain about.

myspoonistoobig's picture

We were talking about it last night and DH basically said what you did. "I am NOT a short order cook!"

Shook's picture

Kristinch, I did that. But not sure I like this dehydrator that I got. It wasn't the cheap one so you'd think it would be better. But maybe I just need more practice working with it. Other con is it's massive. They sell kale chips now for $8 a teeny box so I decided to make my own. It worked better at a slow bake at 200 degrees for 2-3 hours than in the dehydrator machine. Let me know if you find a good one.

Shook's picture

OMG I hate juicing. I grew up in a house where they juiced. They still can't make them with easy cleanup. I have an expensive juicer---it's collecting dust. Give me powdered whey, spirutein & a blender any day.

Shook's picture

LOL yes you will. It's not nice to fool father nature (lalanne---mother nature is suzanne somers)

myspoonistoobig's picture

Mmmmm.... DH and I will have to talk about that. Because that is totally what I want to do, but if we don't talk about it he may very well cave.

I'm okay with providing options, but there will be no "you can have candy if you eat three more bites." Negative. I gave you choices, you said no to them all, clearly you're not hungry.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Thank you! Luckily SS has normal kid metabolism, and isn't getting anywhere near obese... for the moment.

Honestly my biggest concern with his diet is behavoir. The foods he eats are full of the kind of crap that causes behavoir problems in children his age. And he's a boy, so he's a little more vulnerable than the girls would be anyway.

Half the reason DH is so very much onboard with having to gently "detox" him is the potential for poor behavior.

HadEnoughx5's picture

I understand your frustration but honestly, I envy the list. My DH and Swamp Hole have both seriously screwed up their kids royally nutrition wise and everything else. SS13.5 has high cholesterol and his eating habits absolutely suck big time. He eats carbs and dairy. No fruits or vegetables and gets whatever he wants. I bent over backwards to get this child help, Swamp Hole made SS13.5 feel stupid and knocked his self-esteem down. DH caved and SS13.5 no longer got help.

SS12 is no better. I've had conversations with DH that end up with him saying "yeah, I need to make a better effort" and then does the opposite. DH takes the skids out to eat for 2 of the 3 meals on the weekend and dinner during the week night. Then DH said to me that WE are eating out too much and costs a lot of money :? DUH, BUT IT"S YOU DH! So I started cooking for dinners, and DH went out each night the skids were home, but ate at home the nights we did not have them.

Bottom line, DH is going to do what he wants with the skids and I'm not sweating it anymore. DONE. Dirol

myspoonistoobig's picture