BM is back to not letting DH speak to SS during the week, The middle boy even hung up on him
when DH called the house phone last night.
DH: Hello...XXXXX...
Middle Boy: "Yeah"
DH Can I speak to XXXXX please
*fumble of the phone* *dh hears mom in the backround*
*phone hangs up*
DH calls back and no one answers-
He texts BM and trys to call her cell, she refuses
to have SS call DH..
BM did this same thing around this exact time of year
last year. As a matter of fact it was around Feb 6th
when she called the police on him for no reason when
he came to pick SS up for the weekend, as he always has..
How should this be handled?
Just document the dates and attempts made to have
communication with SS and take that to court?
Advice is needed..
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for pickup...have a friend
for pickup...have a friend go with him as a witness.
Ever since the police call I
Ever since the police call I go with him every time now.
I don't trust her at all, I only didn't go that one time, because I was ill..
Keep a journal / log of all
Keep a journal / log of all contact, attempts to contact and any and everything involving visitation, drop/pick up, issues, disagreements with BM etc. It's exhausting, but if you ever had to go to court over some custody issue, it'll help. Just keep it to the facts, no opinions made or judgments, just the facts i.e. "On x date, called to speak to x, heard BM in background, phone dropped and then call was disconnected. Called back, no answer. Texted BM requesting to speak to x, no response." He should follow up in writing via email or letter documenting that he tried to call and that cite the court order where it says that each parent should facilitate and not interfere with the other parents ability to contact and have a relationship with the child. That's how I'd handle it.
I had to take the lead on
I had to take the lead on keeping said log until it was just too much for me to do (along with everything else) so I made him take responsibility for it. He too thought I was overreacting at first but has since changed his tune. Some of our BFs/DHs/SOs are so incredibly naive when it comes to their XWs/BMs. I hate to say it, but even though these issues are personal in that they revolve around a child, it's BUSINESS once there's a divorce decree/court order in place and if the BM doesn't want to abide by the letter of the law, these men really need to remove the emotion from it and treat it like BUSINESS, make sure the order is enforced.
We will start keeping
We will start keeping receipts, Thanks!
I hadn't thought of that, and we buy him a lot/go to movies etc
Thanks!
We are currently going for
We are currently going for custody, but BM thinks it's just joint.. we're going for full.
Thank you for the info
He was not married to her previously so some of the rules are different unfortunately
Wow.. Don't these BM's know
Wow.. Don't these BM's know that they are not hurting the guys, but their own kids!!! My gradmother always used to tell me "Eyes that can't see... heart that cannot feel" Meaning that if a father does not or cannot see his child, will eventually feel numb, move on. In essence, he will just stop careing. The true losers are the kids who are left with no dad.
Children need the parent they are not with. They will always long for that relationship. A parent could be a horrible person.. ridden with addiction, illness, etc. But a child will always long for that part of them that is not there. When you have a mother who drills into your head, that your father doesn't want to see you, your father has a new family, then they start to internalize that, and they start to blame themselves.
Why am I so unlovable. If he loved me he would see me, but he doesn't, and so then there must be something wrong with me that my own dad can't even love me.
I think this is the only way
I think this is the only way she know she can get to DH is through the no-contact game, but he's used to it, sooo.. it's not working like she wishes- It is amazing that she just can't let the child talk to his father for 5 min. That's not going to kill her..!