Again - POV of someone who says they have Borderline Personality Disorder.
These are so spot on to the way BM acts. The skids call them "episodes." She's not always crazy but the "crazy" always comes out eventually. My mom gets so mad when someone we know becomes BM's new "bestie." I deleted a HS aquaintance off of facebook because she had become best friends with BM. Now my DS is dating this HS aquaintance's daughter. I mentioned something to my son about how I didn't trust the girl's mom because of her relationship with BM. My son, who doesn't talk about much of anything ever, said, "Oh no! They hate BM!" He didn't elaborate. Not gonna lie, I want to know what BM did to her but I'm not suprised at all. No one lasts with BM.
What is BPD?
Pasta Jones, BPD sufferer, survivor & occasional victor
Answered Apr 3
Originally Answered: What exactly is borderline personality disorder (BPD)?
Borderline personality disorder describes a condition where the patient is considered to be “on the borderline” between normal and psychosis. They are considered to be on this border because they will oscillate very rapidly back and forth between being high functioning - ‘normal’, holding down jobs and lives and relationships, to ‘psychosis’ - which varies from person to person. For me, it means extreme OCD, extreme sadness and extreme paranoia. For others, it means impulsiveness, spending all their money and a vastly increased sex drive. It depends on the person. The process of changing is called splitting.
Here’s an example: Your boyfriend texts you to say he will be an hour late home, he is going to the gym. Normal you: ‘OK’.. or maybe even ‘YES! Glass of wine, few candles, into the bath I go.’ Split you: Why? You never go to the gym, why now? Why today? You don’t want to come home,is that it? You don’t want to spend time with me. Is it because of the other night when I wouldn’t go to the bar with you? Is it because I didn’t text you back earlier? Is it because you don’t love me anymore?
As you can imagine, BF is left very confused, going… er..no. It’s because.. I want to go to the gym???
It’s also important to remember what is being felt to prompt these responses. In normal you: Oh ok he’s going to the gym, fine.
In split you? - AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a split, a BPD sufferer is feeling a flush of adrenaline, increased anxiety, rejection, resentfulness, spite, fear, anger.
BPD sufferers are fully grown, emotionally damaged children.
We can’t handle: rejection, perceived or otherwise. Abandonment, perceived or otherwise. Criticism, perceived or otherwise. Or any kind of invalidation of our feelings.
Think of a BPD sufferer like a 7 year old who has been told their whole lives: your feeling don’t matter. They internalise this to mean “YOU don’t matter”.
Maybe they grew up on a diet of: Stop crying. What’s wrong with you? Get it together. Oh for goodness sake.. STOP CRYING. Jesus Christ.. You’re a disgrace. And so on and so forth.
Because they were dismissed and rejected for having feelings as children, they are very sensitive and protective of how they’re treated for having them as adults. If they feel you are treating them like they were treated before; i.e. dismissing them, they will (usually) freak the hell out. The adult they are now is trying to stand up for and protect they child they once were.
Remember that and you’ve nailed it.
(I am heading on a weekend trip at noon so I probably won't be back until Monday.)