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The Saga Continues

MommyMayI's picture

Dh went to weekly therapy session with bm. You would think she would learn by now, but bm continues to complain about the new schedule and ss's soccer practice. To summarize: it is soooo hard for bm to get ss9 to his 7pm practice because she has to do hw and dinner and take care of her 3 yr old son. Then the next day it is soooo hard for HER because ss is tired in the morning and doesn't want to go to school.
Dh's response: me and sm do it every Wed with no problem, except for we don't pick up ss until 430 wherein you pick him up from school and have an extra three hours to get stuff done. Therefore, in the short two hours we have at home before practice, we are able to do hw, dinner, and take care of our 1 and 2 year old girls. We never have a problem getting ss up and ready for school the next morning.
Therapist's response: bm maybe you need to do some of the things dh and sm are doing with ss.
Bm's response: f**k that!
Haha I guess she will continue to have a hard time.

Also, dh brought up that bm never callede like she told the therapist and me she would. Bm said she couldn't figure out Google voice, so she was just going to leave it alone. Therapist was pissed. He commented on her lack of communication and her inability to co-parent for the betterment of her son. Wink sounds about right.

Comments

MommyMayI's picture

Nope. She did it twice because the therapist recommended that I call her and help her set up a Google voice. She told him the same thing and added that she didn't need my help with anything. Haha

hereiam's picture

the therapist recommended that I call her and help her set up a Google voice.

Why is the therapist volunteering you to help her with crap? Maybe he should do it for her.

MommyMayI's picture

Because we are supposed to be working together to co-parent. Bm and I agreed to call each other because the therapist says we need to work out our issues. Honestly, I could care less but I did what I said and she didn't. Dh wanted the therapist to see that we are willing to work with her but she isn't.

Cadence's picture

Is the therapist aware of high-conflict people whom never "work out their issues" with someone because doing so brings less attention than constantly causing conflict?

I suggest bringing the therapist a copy of "custody chaos, personal peace" and leaving it with him.

MommyMayI's picture

I think she wants the therapist to say that she doesn't have enough time with ss, so maybe they should go back to the new schedule where we only get ss one day a week but ss doesn't want that schedule so the therapist isn't going to change it. Every week she complains about ss, and I think the therapist thinks she doesn't discipline.

MommyMayI's picture

Agreed! We are the ones who struggle with money, and I think we have the most fun. We turn the TV off and build forts and play hide and seek. Her biggest claim to fame is that ss has a Wii to play with every day at her house. Woohoo, free babysitter.

twoviewpoints's picture

While I understand the purpose of the joint sessions are to promote better communication and 'co-parenting' problems the parents/different homes are having, I'm not sure this therapist is doing much good nor approaching it in a helpful direction.

I mean, if there are already issues and problems between the adults, why s this therapist going out of his/ her way to shove SM down BM's throat and keep pushing a perceived superiority glow over the opposite parent and home. I just don't view that as beneficial to bridging the conflict.

I realize OP has given just a briefing of the session, not a play by play, but can't help feeling the therapist is creating more hostilities and resentments on BM's part than what he/she is rather suppose to be smoothing out. *shrugs*

MommyMayI's picture

Oh I agree with you! I am a pretty educated person, and I have taken my fair share of psychology classes. I think there is a lot more this therapist could be doing to better their coparenting relationship. He explained to them and to me that he doesn't want us all to be friends, but he wants us to be the adults and figure out a mature way to work together. His primary goal is to provide us with the tools we need to co-parent. The cool thing about it is that he realizes that all the parents and stepparents have a role in parenting, not just bm.

MommyMayI's picture

Right? The therapist is putting a stop to it. We have a set court date for next month and he told dh his report would be ready!

BethAnne's picture

How many more sessions do you have to have? Did the court specify a specific number or are you just expected to continue until one side throws the towel in? I hope there is an end in sight for you guys. I get that you two seem to be coming off well out of this, and so hopefully showing the court that you two are reasonable, but at the same time, these sessions don't seem to be helping anyone out and the sooner they can be finished with the better.