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must repeat: I'm not his mom. I'm not his mom. I'm not his mom.

mommawowa's picture

Maybe it's because I'm a teacher. Maybe it's because I'm jealous. Or maybe it's because I see it as stupid.

3 days (including today) of school left. 2.5 really, because last day is a 1/2 day. Monday was just a holiday. SS9 was with her at 8:30 a.m. and went to the beach ALL day.

I go to his classroom to bring him his snack; his class is out on the kickball field for the grade-level tournament. I figure I will go cheer him on. He's not on the field. I go see if his backpack is in his classroom, nope. I go see his teacher, she just plainly says, "SS9 isn't here."


I call and tell DH. I ask if I can just text Darth Vader, otherwise if he did, I'd feel like she would think I'm tattling; because let's be honest, if I didn't teach at SS9's school, we wouldn't know about it.

So I text, "Is everything ok? SS9's class is playing kickball in the tournament and asked if he's coming." (SS9 is known for his kickball skills in the entire grade level. Just sayin')

No response for 30 minutes, then finally, "Yes I bet he forgot about the tournament and we are all ditching school and going to the beach."

My response? wow. ok.

Which I know was wrong, but now I'm pissed. Why? It's no reflection of me. SS9 is the one missing out on the last days of school stuff with his friends, not me. I didn't keep him from it. (He's one of those that at least at our house, claims to you know, yeah, I guess I do like being at school with my friends.)

The other thing that makes me mad and it REALLY shouldn't...Darth Vader is a "keep the peace" officer at a high school. I would hate to work with her. She calls in on average, 5 days out of the month (think 5 out of 20 school days). And being the last, again 2.5 days, of school, I know if my 4th graders are climbing the walls, those high schoolers could get into some mischief too. And she just says screw it, I'm going to the beach? Yuck. Darth Vader, you disgust me as a PERSON.

I'm not just sure what irks me the most. The fact that it's such a lame reason to keep SS9 home? I mean they go to the beach at least once a week over the summer. They JUST went the day before yesterday and have plans to go on Saturday.

Am I pissed at her lack of being a good person?

Am I pissed that I'm not allowed to even really do anything? (DH, btw, doesn't seem to give a hoot. He's just kind of like, oh well.)

OH, but 2 months ago when I had to be out because DD2 was sick, I checked SS9 out of school 30 minutes before dismissal (with DH's approval of course), Darth Vader FLIPPED OUT. But she can just keep him home to go to the beach and not even tell anyone? How is that fair? But, there again, DH allows it.

So I'm not "allowed" to be mad about this.

I'm just so ANGRY. why why why?

I have been trying to repeat all day long: I'm not his mom. I'm not his mom. (and the little voices inside try to break in, yeah, but you'd be a much better mom. you do more than she does already. you care more than she does. you should be his mom, etc. etc.)


TryingSoHard's picture

Sometimes I think BM does things just because she's the mom and "she can."

BM lets SS stay home from school just because. Then she complains to SO that "SS had 19 absences this semester." Not our fault.

She let SS stay home the last day of school. Just because it was the last day and "no one was doing anything anyway."

This kind of crappy parenting makes me mad too. As stepmom, you're told to bugger off just for caring about the kids. It's almost as if they think you're sinning just by caring about their kids.

Part of the reason for the attitude is that if you care about her kids and are a good stepparent, BM doesn't have a good reason to hate you, which is what she really wants; an excuse to hate you.