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do all BM's call to whine about stepmom's to their EX?

mommawowa's picture

I am so sick of this.

SS9 has been at Darth Vader's house for four days. I text him once a day in the evening "we miss you" or "we love you" or "hey pookie poo" (He just LOVES that last one, lol.)

So he never usually texts me back. That's fine. I understand he's busy with his MOM and what not. Cool.

Fourth day (today), he texted me back. I got all excited and said hey back, and then, can you call us? US (MEANING, ME, HIS DAD AND HIS LITTLE SISTER).

He calls, he's on speaker phone almost the whole time to talk to all of us, the conversation is probably 2 minutes, tops. (I did notice and say something lovingly, oh honey are you sick? you sound sick? The kid was yawning and clearly congested/coughing/sneezing ALL IN 2 MINUTES). He said, yeah, it's just my allergies. This started the day he left us and I had thought maybe it was allergies at first and knew it wasn't when the zyrtec didn't touch it, but he was going with his dear old mom. What was I going to do? Tell her what he should take and measure it all out in oral medicine syringes like she did for us when he had bronchitis when WE finally kept him home from school and sports because he had FEVER?!. Sorry. Tangent. Point is, at this point, there's no way it's "just allergies". Poor kid.

So as soon as he hangs up, Darth Vader is calling DH with "I thought we discussed this Step-Mom texting SS9 all the time, he wasn't even gone 10 minutes and she was already texting him." I said "we miss you", my DD2 has a very hard time saying goodbye to her older brother she just adores and doesn't really get why he's leaving in the first place. Did he text back? Nope, she probably wouldn't let him. Did I text again or call (LIKE SHE DOES?!?!)? nope. left him the **** alone! Just wanted him to at least KNOW we missed him already.

Does DH stand up to her and tell her to "get over it" like he tells me she should? nope. His words to her "I get ya, I hear ya, ok, mmmhmm, etc. etc."

so angry.


BSgoinon's picture

I agree with this. Although I don't know the details of the OP's situation. I don't think it is fair to put that kind of pressure on a kid. This is something that is out of their control. If BM did that to SS, I was be IRATE, and DH would put a stop to it immediately.

stepmisery's picture

I have to agree, it would be better to not text him and especially don't ask him to call. BM might have something going on and SS will be torn and confused about if he should call or not.

Don't pressure the kid that way. Let each parent have their time.

PeopleAreStrange's picture

I don't see why you need to text him and I'd complain too if bm were doing the same. Let her have her time with him. Especially if he isn't even answering you, just let the poor kid alone.

mommawowa's picture

She texts him CONSTANTLY when he is with us and he gets priveleges taken away at her house (and she expects us to do the same at our house) if he DOESN'T text or call her back. If he tries to text her back though, it turns into a 2 hour long conversation of texts and if he doesn't she asks (trying to be playfully) what's wrong, why won't you talk to me, don't you love me? etc. etc.

I get the uninterrupted time. I get the leave him alone.

She is not NCP (that means Non custodial parent right?). Neither one is custodial, it says "rotating". It's 50/50, VERY even. Except when she tries to wheel and deal DH into getting extra hours/days. And he usually gives in.

So I'll stop.

Guess I'm not allowed to show the kid some love.