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What do I do?

Mommaofthree's picture

Tonight I finally had enough and left my husband. I'm not even sure I should go back! My husband's daughters from his previous marriage are just so nasty to me and my small children whom I share with their dad. They have no respect for women. Not even their own mother. And my husband does nothing but make me feel like the bad guy! He tells me I'm the adult and I'm in charge of the relationship I have with his daughters. But I can't! Most of our fighting has only ever been because of the way they treat me. Everytime I have ever run to him about it he defends them and tells me I put him in the middle. I'm totally miserable because I feel alone in this relationship. What do I do?! 

Comments

Focused_onourlife's picture

Stay gone! Your DH should be making sure his kid's respect you. "I put him in the middle" means he doesn't want to parent and demand respect for his wife from his daughters out of fear of losing them. If he wants you back make him EARN you back by setting boundaries with his DD's. OR you can set them straight and tell him to STFU and allow you to set the boundaries. If all else fails, he is not the man for you. BTDT with my DH as well.

Areyou's picture

 I agree with focusedonourlife. I too left and did not go back. Still dating DH but I will never live with them again. I enjoy my newfound peace, freedom, and my space is now sacred- no skids to disrespect my space, my peace of mind is once again intact- no skids to cause bad feelings, and I now have boundaries around how I want to be treated-if skids act out, I just leave and go back to my peaceful home. I feel safe and whole again. I also get to have my social life back and I have a quiet space to do work and focus my mind again. Phew. You will be glad you left. Love their father, leave them out of the equation, and take care of your biochildren. They deserve their mother back, and they deserve to not see their mother being disrespected.. Then slowly extricate yourself and move forward into the life you deserve. Good luck. You can do this. There are no rules about how to live your life and honestly, if the people in your home don't treat you right, seek a home and a space where you are treated right and you feel safe. It sets an example for your own children. You would never want them to think it's ok to be mistreated. If someone mistreats you, cut them out of your life. They don't deserve you. If they make amends and right the wrongs they've done, then maybe they have a chance to come back into your life. You are too important, too amazing, to allow yourself to be mistreated. AND you are a mom to children who need you. Take care of YOU so you can be there for the ones who truly love you.

amyburemt's picture

with my sd17. She would be nasty and disrespectful when dh wasn't around then turn into someone else when he was around. If I said anything to her about it, my dh would always tell me how I could word it differently. So then I disengaged from her and went to him if there was anything going on. Then he would complain how I always went to him instead of her. It was a no win situation. Anyway if you read my other blogs, then you will see that she went to live with bm this year after many years of chaos. Now i can breathe. I'm sad she chose that route because bm is probably one of the worst parents out there but it was her decision.