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need advice..hormones or is this real??

mommaof2's picture

I'm new here but have done alot of reading, and have found it very empowering!
So i have a daughter 6 and he has 2 boys 5&7. I just 21/2 weeks ago gave birth to our son. After the birth I was sent back to the hospital w a cardiac issue. He maned up and took care of our son. As soon as i got home the bm started giving attitude Twd me and him both. Since every one of his days off she calls and or txts constantly saying she needs him to get his boys BC she has this or that to do. Or how she needs him BC both boys have baseball games etc. We couldn't even get thru a cardiologist apt wo her calling ( she knew we were at that apt) of course he answers and instead of saying no I can't help u today he acts like he's trying everything in his power to help her then later says to her oh I'm really sorry I can't help u out. I mean grow a set and tell her no! I hate that his time off w me and our son our family in my home is dictated by his ex! And he just says oh I have to keep the peace or shell make things harder. And it's "extra" time w his kids when she needs favors. I say go to court and get ur time w them don't kiss ass for it and make ne feel terrible and unimportant. He also tries to say that BC of my feelings about the situation that I'm trying to push his kids out of our picture and I'm all about my kids. Which is not true but honestly I'm getting close! My while life depends on what she needs for herself and her kids! And he
more or less kisses her ass. I've also heard them talking/
texting about things not related to the kids. Which bugs me. I trying to talk to him about my feelings and he tells me I'm crazy and jealous and get over it BC its not Gona change w her and there's not more he can do to.let me know he loves me. Then its like the boss has spoken and he won't talk anymore. My feelings are completely invalidated.
am I all post partum hormonal or do i have a point? Any advice is appreciated!!

Comments

Cocoa's picture

nope, you have a point. she says jump and he says how high? you are in for a rough road until you can get him to understand YOU are his wife, YOUR feelings are more important than hers, and it's not about the kids. he (should have) a court order that protects his rights to his kids. everything else is about her. it sounds as if he still has an emotional attachment to her. you are going to have to make a stand so that he realizes that if he doesn't change some things, he's going to lose you. you definitely need marriage counseling, at the very least. men don't listen to words. they listen to actions.

mommaof2's picture

Thanks so much for the replies and the validation. Yes this is a hard and very u stable situation. It has been told to me time after time that his kids come first ( decoded what she needs comes first ) and get over it. On top of everything he calls his kids 3+ times a day. Which means... u got it! He talks to her 3+ times a day! She has already split us up 2 times in the past and accused him of "being" with her. I was stupid enough to come back after9 months of being apart. Then she proceeded to have Dyfs in my home under false allegations and has made things HELL for us but yet he still wants to do favors! I don't get it! Sorry venting! Lol