NEED some input!
Dh ( which we aren't married yet supposed to be Nov but he's still married BC he don't have the last $300 to close the divorce) and i had a huge fight mostly BC $ i am out on maternity leave so its mainly not all him bringing in $. Well anyway after my son was born I went back into the hospital for post partum cardiomyopthy. Basiclly I was drowning myself and swelled up like a balloon. Well he was forced to take care of our son alone while I sat in the hospital. The day after I got home his youngest had a t ball game but I wasn't safe to be alone due to my blood pressure. He made me get a friend to come sit w me so he could run off to the game the kids mother was already at. Which I thought was wrong. Its a ball game that's Gona happen again in 3 fuckin days! I just got home BP sky high and an emotional wreck! Also the night I went to the hospital he had his kids over b4 they got there I literally cried asking him not to have them over BC how sick o was feeling. He flat out said my kids come first its my day I don't care how u feel.
Don't get me wrong I understand ur kids rank highest in ur life I have 2 kids I understand but I do deserve some respect. I finally today admitted today I love his kids but not like my own to him. Well.... he hit the roof saying he deserves tobe with someone who accepts his kids. I do accept them I just don't love them like my own. I'm expected to love them.like a mom spend $ on them like a mom but that's its. Oh and fix BM'S parenting mistakes. Screw that.
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OP, you had a baby with a
:jawdrop:
OP, you had a baby with a married man... who, according to you isn't divorced because he doesn't have $300, and yet you GOT PREGNANT by him?!? Last I checked, babies cost WAY more than $300. :? :?
Sometimes we put ourselves in these positions and then wonder why it sucks.
I am so sorry, but you MUST
I am so sorry, but you MUST put your foot down. My DH was the same ahole as your DH. I ended up having to plan with my doctor to be induced so that I could ensure that we didn't have the loser skid with us and DH would miss the birth...ahole! I had a c-section and within 5 days that loser was at my house once again. Ahole didn't even tell me he was picking her up! Yes, he just freaking traded weekends so that his lousy mother could see her at OUR house...heck, my freaking house that I paid for since he didn't have a pot to piss in. I put my foot down immediately after that. It caused MANY arguments...after MANY years, he finally got it. But I was willing to walk away and he knew I meant business. If you do not put your foot down, you will always come last. I think you need to step up, be fair and PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN...if he after a while still puts his feelings ahead of yours, too bad and send him packing.
The fact that you both shared
The fact that you both shared your views on this before getting married is a good thing.
He's telling you loud and clear that his older kids will always come ahead of your needs and wants.
You have to decide if this is a deal breaker.
Hi everyone thanks so much!
Hi everyone thanks so much! He just now told me "u will never hold a candle to where my kids rank in my heart and life" and "ur so jealous of my relationship with my kids its pathetic " and " ur not the only girl that had a heart problem after birth boohoo"
no I do not want to be with nor marry him. He's been "getting divorced " for 6 yrs now! The HUGE problem is I'm on maternity leave and cannot afford my house car bills act alone. Now he's throwing in my face to come up w my half of the rent knowing damn well I can't. I just got back from the cardiologist and he's talking about putting me out another week, I will lose everything! But I can't stand the sight of him right now! I want him out! And of course it'll take 6 weeks to get a support order. I'm so stressed!!!!!!
Well in his eyes I'm selfish
Well in his eyes I'm selfish for saying I need him before the kids some time. And just like his wife says all I'm trying to do is come between him and his kids. I'm a pathetic bitch.
Let me get this straight, did
Let me get this straight, did you just have HIS baby and he's saying this to you? Hope he's up to paying more CS to you. So this child isn't as important to him as his 'first' children?
I think I've been staying for
I think I've been staying for the stability for my daughter and trying to make it work for my new son. But I'm stupid for it
Unfortunately he is his dad.
Unfortunately he is his dad. I hate that after i kick his ass outta here I have to share my son w him! He's an asshole and his kids are out of control and the ex would love nothing more than to be able to throw in my face that she spent time around my son. I'm completely sick over this!
Why would BM be around your
Why would BM be around your son? Are they planning to get back together?
Call social services and
Call social services and women's shelters.
Both will be able to help you until you get on your feet.
He always ends up back with
He always ends up back with her when he isn't with someone. Or just having "family tome" w her and the kids. No I have to get out of this situation, I'm just going to have to work my ass off to do it and he's using that as leverage to take my son while I'm working he says he's not to go to my moms or anywhere else but him.
And now we know the REAL
And now we know the REAL reason he isn't divorced yet!
^^^^^^^^ DING DING
^^^^^^^^ DING DING DING^^^^^^^
Your mom lives near you? If
Your mom lives near you? If so pack your stuff and go there.
He's talking out of his ass about child care. Chance are he will have to pay at least half if the baby is in day care.
Thank u ladies for your views
Thank u ladies for your views and opinions. Thank god for this site!!