Worthless BioDad
DW brought her kids to see their bio dad. He hasn't paid his share for any extra-cirricular activities for his kids which is around $2200 or even the CS, that is only $240 a month for 3 kids, since November of 2011. But, he finds the money to buy his oldest a 4th generation IPOD that cost $300. What a piece of shit. Then while he has them for the summer, DW said there are some good wrestling camps for kid#2 to go to. Bio dad asks which one did you sign him up for? She said neither, but #2 wants to go and you need to pay for it. He refuses. But then during 2-1 week intervals over the summer, DW has the kids. She has signed him up for wrestling and football camp. Bio Dad says it is up to him when she gets the kids. She said I have them signed up for activities they want to do! He says so.
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Um, okay, maybe I'll get
Um, okay, maybe I'll get backlash for this.
First of all, is it in the CO that he has to pay extracurriculars? If not, sorry, he's not responsible for it. Likewise, if he had no say in whether or not the kid gets signed up, I don't believe he should be paying for it.
Second, is it in the CO that he gets summers? Just because DW signs the kids up for camp doesn't mean they can go if it's on the dad's time. Sorry, but that's more terrorist style of the BM's we usually see than anything else--sign the kid up on the dad's time, if he doesn't take them, his kids hate him because he won't let them do something they like, and BM reaps all the glory of the poor mom who just wants her kids to be happy.
Sorry, but if the CO states those things, then your DW is in the wrong.
OMG! CO states everything
OMG! CO states everything that I am pissed off about! What the fuck is it with people who darling these dead beat fucking fathers! I am sick of it!
Hey, dude, relax. I deal with
Hey, dude, relax. I deal with a deadbeat ex, too. He owes $65K in support arrears, $15K in medical arrears, and $8K in extra curricular arrears.
I feel your pain.
That said, get over it. It will only eat at you, whittling away at your marriage, and generate resentment with your step kids.
Your DW can file for support enforcement to collect/enforce it. She can file contempt charges on her own. (I just did.)
Remember, though, if dad doesn't want to schedule activities during his limited time, he doesn't have to.
You seem realllly angry, though. Perhaps it's best if your DW doesn't include you in the details of this situation.
Um wow. Okay, this was just a
Um wow. Okay, this was just a different perspective, didn't expect that.
I'm sorry but I don't think it's okay to sign a child up for something on the other parent's time unless it has been specifically court ordered. Please excuse me for clarifying.
I mean, if the Biodad started signing the kids up for a ridiculous amount of things and wanted your DW to pay for it, and it was on your DW's time, I'm sure you'd be singing another tune.
I don't think there was any reason why you needed to be so defensive on it when all I did was offer my opinion on this. =/
I agree with everyone else, I would let it go.
What does their order
What does their order state?
Does he have summer visitation time? If so, then it's up to him to schedule what he wants during that time. (Or not.)
Just like if mom wants to sign the kids up on her time, it's her choice. Would she want her ex scheduling stuff for the kids on her time?
Does the order state that EC's should be split by both parties? Or is it included in CS?
Agree with above....She has
Agree with above....She has no right to schedule things on his time and expect him to pay for it unless dictated by the CO. As for not paying CS, why is she not pursuing that?
Wow, that was quite a lashing
Wow, that was quite a lashing for people just asking what was in the CO. You didn't give a lot of information. With facts absent, people are replying based on what they've experienced.
Take a pill, answer some questions, & give people some facts to base their replies on.
P.S. Perhaps look into some anger management.
If I'm a tard then you're a
If I'm a tard then you're a jacka**. Hmm... that might get me booted, oh well. If we're all so dumb then why are you coming to us for advice. If your wife isn't going after him for the CS that she is owed then that's on her- it doesn't mean he shouldn't be paying it, of course he should. But, if he isn't then take the steps to get it.
I would say this is a troll.
I would say this is a troll. No more, no less. Best to ignore.
Because he works for cash.
Because he works for cash. The state tries to garnish, but no job. They take his drivers license, oh well. He gets pulled over in 2 states driving after suspension. Oh well. He skates under the radar on everything!!!! The state cs office tries to help but they are worthless. The CO states he is to have a suitable housing also, but no, he lives in a 5th wheel camper in his parents driveway. This guy doesn't care at all about his kids. It is all about getting back at his ex because how dare she leave him. He raises blood pressure of everyone. His mom had a stroke recently, yup it's DW's fault. Everything is someone else's fault. He never ever takes responsibility for anything. But, he is their dad and he is so darling and he has rights! He has more rights than the fucking pope in church. And he has to do nothing. No involvement for any betterment of the kids. These kids want to do things. But, he doesn't want to do anything except bring jr, #2 along to his cash jobs doing roofs and what not as the oldest watches the 6 year old in a camper in a fucking driveway of a 2 bedroom house where his parents each have a bedroom. The courts never ever enforced his suitable living. Still doesn't. But, we can't withold the children even if it is in their best interests and safety. The court doesn't fucking care.
Are you talking about MY ex??
Are you talking about MY ex?? Sure sounds like it!!
Dude, I'm totally speaking from experience here: LET.IT.GO. Is it fair? Nope. Should he be allowed to skate while the rest of us work and do the right thing? Nope. Did anyone promise that life would be fair? Nope.
This anger, this situation, this - everything - is clearly taking a toll on you. Let it go. For your own sake.
(It took me about 3 years to realize this for myself. Once I let it go, I simply pity my ex. He's a loser. He is losing out on his kids. He is the one who will suffer and I am living a happy, peaceful (if not financially strained) life.
Well thank you. That is the
Well thank you. That is the best thing I have heard. All I wanted to do was let it out on this site a venting source. Instead they put the fucker on a pedistal! SO, that is good perspective. Thanks again.
Sure thing. I found that I
Sure thing.
I found that I was so angry, resentful, and, gosh, it just took so much mental and emotional energy, I just stopped and thought about it.
Am I ever really going to be able to change it? Probably not. I firmly believe the only people who pay support do it because they want to...or are at least willing to if they don't like the consequences.
It's too easy to be a bum, live off others, and HIDE. I could (and have) spent years trying to chase the $ down, and it's gotten me nothing but aggravation.
Good luck with it. It's tough to round that corner, but once you do, you'll wonder why you waited so long!
there are worse things than a
there are worse things than a child living in a camper. does bdad just get them on weekends and a couple weeks in the summer? try to think of it as skids going on a very boring camping trip!
but it is frustrating. not much to do about it unfortunately, lots of us have plenty to moan and complain about when it comes to court!
kids tend to defend and praise their crappy bios for EVERYTHING. we just hope one day they will see the light!
vent away...but try not to call us tards...we saw one very small paragraph of your situation and we all come at things from our own perspective, which is different from yours!
Has your wife taken him to
Has your wife taken him to court for contempt? Does support go through DCSE? If it does & you know where he lives, she needs to call & give them the info & find out at what point they'll put him in jail.
What has the state CS office done to try to help? Why are they not able to do anything?
a CO is only as good as the
a CO is only as good as the paper it is written on unless you file over and over and over with the courts, which by the way I recommend, because from what I have found, it pisses judges off. I had a friend of mine I was helping in a similar situation, she filed every 8 weeks, she found the smallest little thing and filed, then when her dirtbag would screw up again (like not showing up for visitation) she would file again. Eventually after about the 3rd time her ex stopped showing up too and she ended up with full custody with no visitation ordered. however the ex is 80 grand in the arrears on childsupport. Seems no state that I am aware of seems to have a handle on that ....
Well, that is why the case is
Well, that is why the case is moving closer to us. The access is easier and it said in prior orders that WI wanted it moved to MN. So, with that, we intend to follow it like intructions and it will do one oif 2 things. Make him step up and start being workable and non difficult. Or he will dissappear. I chose the later after we get going. Plus if we were to offer a forgiveness on his debts that he signs the kids over.
Heres the thing, the case is
Heres the thing, the case is in WI. Currently getting moved to MN. CS is in MN but follows WI court. WI court hates women. The CO was to be $550 at the least, but Toxic puke clears his throat and the judge just lowers it for him. He is supposed to pay 50% of medical bills and 35% of extra-cirricular. He pays none. Last year, trying to be nice, I video taped ss9's wrestling and sent them to Toxic puke. Not a thanks or anything. Nothing. Then this year I didn't do it. He expected me too. I said you know I try to be nice and I get nothing. I extend the olive branch, I get nothing. So, fuck him. DW has had it with him in trying to be nice and work with him. He doesn't care. He is the extreme case that many have never ever encountered. So, thats my story in a nut shell. This is my last post also as I see people are so quick to jump to defend toxic birth parents. The system sucks. Good day to you goodwill supporters.
Ok, that's it. I'm convinced
Ok, that's it. I'm convinced that's my ex, too. Seriously!
I send him pictures, videos of events, etc. Correction: I USED to. He moved far away and couldn't see these.
Well, now he's practically down the street and just as absent.
Fuck him. }:)
Boy have you gotten this site
Boy have you gotten this site wrong. The last thing this site does is defend toxic birth parents. Especially since most of us regulars have toxic Birthparents in our lives.
All we were trying to point out is that if he doesn't want to pay for the extra curriculars, he doesn't have to if it is not in the CO. If it is, then he should have some say in what they are signed up for. For us, BM signs them up she pays, we sign them up, we pay. As it should be....