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Today's Horror

MisundertsoodMa's picture

The continuation onto Sunday Mishap...

So DW is mad at me for my SD6 stabbing her brother who is 7. No the SD did not get in trouble she just got scolded and then a soft talking saying that you could of killed your brother. She yelled at me and told me that i was ignorant because i was not watching them close enough and that my SS could have died yesterday. Also that CPS would of took all her kids away because of me. I take responsibility for the incident. I have been crying and very over whelmed because I try so hard to do right by this family but its like nothing I ever do it right. With all of this, I get very overwhelm and some much anxiety about everything and now its affecting my marriage. I kinda just at the end of my witts because of the fact regardless of what I say or do she doesn't listen to reason. Nothing I can do but just sit here and be quiet. Due to her saying my opinion does not matter. Any Advice.

Comments

tog redux's picture

You are being abused by this woman, you do recognize that, right? If my DH ever yelled at me and told me I was ignorant and that my opinions don't matter, it would be a deal breaker for me. 

MisundertsoodMa's picture

I really do not know what to think anymore to be honest. My head has been all over the place due to me looking for another job as well so I havent been thinking straight lately.

Steptalker2's picture

Wow she is dramatic isn’t she. Tell her she needs to hire a babysitter while you look for a new place to live. Go back to dating if you must have her in your life. Be single foot loose and fancy free. You don’t need that bs. Look for someone who is a lot nicer.

ESMOD's picture

I mean she doesnt need to be abusive... but I get how she could think you were not watching closely

fourbrats's picture

DH and I raised a lot of kids together and yes, there would have been some yelling if one of them cut the other with a knife due to lack of supervision and "well I told them not to." We went through a three year patch when our first child together would climb the fridge, escape the house, or destroy something if we so much as went to the bathroom without her in tow (that child spent several years trying to be the death of me). Well, in a week time frame DH dared to pee alone. First time she climbed the counter and destroyed some pie. The second time she broke her arm. There was yelling. I yelled. A lot. There would have been yelling had it been his child or my children. Our child happened to be the family hellion....

MisundertsoodMa's picture

I was watching them but its not like every parent sit and hovers over the children all day if i did that then it would be a problem too. Thats called a helicopter parent. My parents were like that it closed me off from them so no i dont want to happen to me. Yes I understand that I should of been watching them closer but I can not watch every moment of the day like when I use the restroom or when I am cooking. Thats a little to excessive.

ESMOD's picture

A 6 yo got a sharp knife. And had it long enough to cut a sibling. The knife should not be that accessible. I know stuff happens with kids but these two seem like they need more supervision.   It's not helicopter parenting to watch a 6 yo. They are a far cry from being independent at that age. Look...your gf should not be a jerk but you seem to be set in that you had no part...and honestly...you likely could have been a little more vigilant. 

MisundertsoodMa's picture

The 6yo was already advised by Mother not to be in the kitchen or dishwasher. And I instilled that, If I am disobeyed then what am I do to. 

TrueNorth77's picture

I agree that there is something you can do. Right now, you are just letting your wife walk all over you and believing her when she tells you that HER kids disobeying you and cutting themselves after you were kind enough to watch them for her is your fault. As if parents sit there and stare at 6 and 8yr olds all day to make sure they don't do anything wrong. What you can do, is reach down and grab your balls, remind yourself that you are a man and you are equally a part of this relationship as she is, this is NOT your responsibility, and if she isn't happy with the way you are watching HER kids, she can find someone else to do it. But you were doing something else at the moment like every single parent in the world does, they disobeyed you, and perhaps that's on her for not ensuring her kids listen to you. Then you can tell her that you don't appreciate being called ignorant or being told that you would get her her kids taken away because of an accident that any kid could have, and you are not a doormat for her to talk to as she pleases.

Jeez dude. It sounds like you're having a hard time and stressed, what with looking for a job and trying to please her, and I feel for you...but stand up for yourself! A man that is a doormat is not a good look, and "nothing I can do but sit here and be quiet"? Nope.

TrueNorth77's picture

My advice still stands! Smile Seriously though, stick up for yourself. No parent can watch a kid 24/7, and these are not your kids.