SD is pissing me off
We have been having issues with SD6 frequently masturbating for the past couple years. She grinds on the floor, moans and groans and her mom's advice was for us to tell her it would hurt her back. Annnyway, usually DH tells her to go to her room if she wants to do that. One day a couple weeks ago, the kids were playing upstairs and it was really quiet. When I went to check on them, she had her bedroom door closed, had our 3 year old son in the bed with her, and she was lying next to him masturbating. I was livid. She kept apologising over and over, and I just said "get downstairs NOW." My son was freaking out because she had taken his socks off. I'm glad I walked in when I did. She went home with her mom last week and apparently had a major meltdown because she said she wanted to marry her brother. Her mom told her "you can't marry your siblings" and she freaked out. Her mom texted DH and said she threw like a 15 min tantrum. This all freaks me out as my younger brother was sexually assaulted by someone in our neighbourhood when he was only 4 years old. I'd like my son to maintain his innocence as long as possible, and now I don't trust SD to be left alone with him for even a couple minutes. Am I overreacting? It seems she has a crush on him, but it just seems disgusting to me. I certainly never had a crush on either of my brothers as a kid. I just feel like telling her to stay the hell away from my son.
Thats a tough one. On one
Thats a tough one.
On one hand, she could just be a normal but precocious young girl who figured out masturbation early. I had a friend whose 4 year old would masturbate ALL THE TIME. There was no abuse. We handled it by explaining that was something you did alone, like going potty. SO if your SD feels shame has been associated with masturbation, that could explain the huge emotional reaction.
Or, there is always the question of is she acting hyper sexual because she is a victim of abuse? Does Dad or BM think that is possible?
We've never made a big deal
We've never made a big deal of it. Hubby just tells her she has to do it in private. I freaked out at her because she had my son in the bed with her, and we've already told her that she doesn't do it around other people. I've noticed she has been acting out with her barbies. Ken and Barbie are always naked on the bed in her doll house. She honestly has always been hypersexual. I started dating DH when she was 13 months old...she used to cross her legs and hump the bed to fall asleep back then. And she does the same thing now. I don't think she has been abused. Definitely not while at out house. Her mom hasn't dated anyone since they got divorced. So I think it's highly unlikely. I'm just nervous now that she's going to try something with my son.
One of my bios (who I won't
One of my bios (who I won't out
also had a keen interest in self-pleasuring around this age. It lasted for a solid a year or more, but I didn't suspect abuse so wasn't overly concerned about it.
If you don't suspect abuse, I'd let it play out for a while and see where she is 6 months, a year from now. I agree with you though, it's important to tell kids "do it in private" and when having ALONE quiet time, because it's a normal part of life but not one we share with the world (like when we use the restroom)
this just doesnt seem normal
this just doesnt seem normal to me.
i agree, i would not let her be alone with your son.