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Playing the victim

Maureen Gunderson's picture

And it gets better. So with new puppy i found that SD was putting poop in our green bin. I told husband to please tell her not to do this or they will deny our services. A week later i am putting stuff in and low and behold poop. I asked him if he had told her and got a look- not response a look. So the next morning when she took the puppy out and came in i was getting ready for work, i said,"you cannot put poop in the greenbin." She immediately started talking back to me, how she hadn't, how she wasn't here this weekend. Yes but she was last night. I said, "no one is putting poop in the greenbin but you so stop doing it" she was ignoring me and just passing walking away saying" mybdad told me!" I replied to a now shut door " well thatbwas a week ago he should have. " I actually felt strong foronce i had parented and not just held things in. Later that evening my husband came home in a mood and drunk. I got on him about his drinking and he went to bed i went to the front of the house to read my book bybthe front door. Her boyfriend pulled up to drop her off they sat forever. I just kept reading but felt odd i was on the fromt porch. I was determined to not fear a 16 almost 17 yr old. Suddenly my husband in jammies comes to the door and acts to flag her in. I am like what? Then he angrily tells me" you don't normally sit here( which i do in the evening but usually he is passed out drunk- and in the fall only the fromt due to weather)! I was like wait this is my house- not ince have i laid a hand or even yelled at any of pur 4 children. Now what she text him in bed pretending to be intimidated by me. Oh yes because i parented her. I told her no, as all the other times to all my other kids, but see you cannot tell her no. So then they pack up their things and leave me and my other 2 boys still at home. Went to mother in laws( who says they need help to me and doesn't want to lose me as her daughter in law) she is walking all over us. And interesting enough her biomom and husband had to do counseling when she lived there, now they are doing great. She plays on people's emotions and manipulates her bio parents. Honestly that night when they left i felt so free. I love my husband and when she is not around he is kind to all the kids and me, as soon as she comes in he shuts down, drinks alot and is depressed. I do not want to leave him he has been through a tragedy, but this is not healthy for him or her. I tried to get them counseling and my husband was on board until she freaked out. Sorry so long :( 

Comments

Exjuliemccoy's picture

This is not healthy for YOU or your kids. Children who grow up around chaos/discord/animosity/alcoholism often go on to repeat what is familiar as adults. Please, please start working on an exit strategy. Neither father nor daughter are people you should allow in your life.

notarelative's picture

 usually he is passed out drunk- 

Consider attending Alanon. DH has a drinking problem. Alanon is for family members of those with a drinking problem. 

AgedOut's picture

I think you actually have more than one issue. You have your SD issue and you have a husband who drinks to the point of passing out. Both are real issues and need sorting.