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Pregnant and snappy with SS

MamaG's picture

Ive raised my SS since he was about 2.5 yo. His mother said she wasnt ready to be a mom, left, then a month later passed away from a motorcycle accident. We have been happy in our little family for 3 years. SS is very attatched to DH and Im grateful for that since I enjoy my quiet time, reading, cooking, bathing, whatever. DH and I have been TTC for about 2 years and we finally did it! I am 10 weeks pregnant and couldnt be happier. The only problem is that everything SS does bothers me. He walks into my room in the mornings, no hi or knock, asking for dad. I just tell him he is not here. When we are together he asks DH questions that could be directed to me but routes them through daddy. It aggravates the mess out of me! Ive been feeling like Im a nanny who cooks, fixes his school lunch, does his clothes and takes care of him when we go out. I think I was loving and caring when he was younger but now that he is growing he has more of an attitude and I snap easily. I want to be a good stepmother. Im not sure if the pregnancy hormones are playing a big part or if my heart is already loving my baby more. Ive talked to my husband and he understands. I told him I dont know what a mothers love feels like towards a child since I dont have a child of my own to love yet. I dont want to turn onto an evil SM just because a baby has arrived. Im not sure where I was going with this, just want to know if anyone has gone through this and how they coped. Thanks for any help.

Comments

starfish's picture

Congrats on the pregnancy.

i have no bio children, so i can't speak from experience, but i do believe it's totally natural to love your own child more (TONS more) then someone else's baggage.

ladybug08's picture

Congratulations!

I know exactly how you feel, I swore I was going crazy because from the moment I got pregnant any little thing SS would do would irritate me like nothing else. Im in my 3rd trimester and it still feels that way, like he is purposely going out of his way to piss me off.

I think it's part pregnancy hormones and some of it is on the kids too. As soon as SS found out I was pregnant he totally changed. He is very smart for his age and did simple things (bath time, dressing himself, tying shoes, cleaning his room) by himself no problem and now all of a sudden he cant do anything by himself he needs "DADDYYYYY" for everything. It drives me crazy to hear him constantly whine, but luckily DH basically ignores him and says "you were able to do ____ by yourself before so you can do it now, stop acting like a baby"

I'm hoping the feeling of irritation just by the sight of him goes away after I have DD or I'm going to have to go to therapy for fear of becoming an evil SM.

Namehere's picture

My SS lacks some boundaries and I casually remind him and his dad periodically. ("He should close the door to use the bathroom, He's gonna be in school soon." etc.)