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She wants to move the kids out of the state.

mamacat_30's picture

Submitted by mamacat_30 on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 4:45pm

Hi All,
We live in California and BM wants to move the kids to Arizona. The kids are 14,15 and 17. I'm pretty sure she can't do so without the court approval, but does anyone have experience with this? What are the factors that the court considers? Do they usually let it happen or not? Any advice or additional resources are appreciated.

Thank You.

Comments

mamacat_30's picture

Submitted by mamacat_30 on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 5:00pm

Her boyfriend/husband is working in Arizona. She says they can no longer afford to live here. Mind you, he was working here before. She doesn't work, she can, but doesn't.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 5:02pm

Is it her boyfriend or husband? If it's her boyfriend I can't imagine a judge saying it's OK to take the kids to another state for his job. Would your husband want custody?

mamacat_30's picture

Submitted by mamacat_30 on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 5:07pm

Boyfriend, they have 1 kid together and have been together for close to 10 years. We would take custody, but I don't think the kids would leave their Mom.

Cape Cod Stepmom's picture

Submitted by Cape Cod Stepmom on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 6:21pm

Sad I agree that due to the kids age, if they do not oppose(and the judge or GAL should be talking to them) the judge will allow them to go. We were faced with the BM wanting to move over 1500 miles but the oldest of the 3 Steps was only 6. During all the pre-trial they tried to get the judge to allow them to move and she said she would fly the kids back every other weekend. What the Hell. What mother would allow her babies to take a 4 hour flight (plus return) every other weekend.

Bossladee's picture

Submitted by Bossladee on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 6:07pm

Ouch. No advice here, sorry! Not sure if there is much your DH can do, with the kids being so much older. what a horrible feeling!

My DH tried to get in divorce papers that BM couldn't move more than 150 miles away, but she insisted on more so the judge ordered she couldn't move out of state. She moved literally as farrrrr away as possible in our state. It was detrimental to poor DH's parenting time and made visitation a mess, it was singlehandly the worse thing that happened for DH/SD's relationship, and they were only about 3 and 5 or so when she moved them. Before she had moved DH and even myself could and did get SD's all the time, BM would even call and ask for us to get them. Although entirely possible (ask her) a toddler and preschooler aren't much fun to party with.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 7:39pm

Depends on where you live. If you can prove there is no family support for the kids in the location sometimes you have a leg to stand on, esp if they have family support where they are now! My bf is currently fighting this however ss1.5 and sd6. The argument on our end is the kids are of native decent and all their native family live in their current residence. There family is here as are their schools and friends (sd6). A key point was also that BM has NO family where she wants to move. The other argument being made is that the children have been used to seeing mom and dad 50/50 therefor it is not in the best interest of the child. Last but not least BM will have to cover costs to access the kids and frankly I don't think she can afford it.

If your BM argument is finance I would suggest you argue that she get a job instead of not putting her kids best interest in mind.

BF court hearing is in two days I can let you know how it goes!

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Tue, 08/13/2013 - 8:00pm

I know a man who lives in a Deep South major city - an area that is very pro BM. His ex wife is from as far north as you can go and still be in the US where her family is.

They have been divorced for 3 years as she was having an affair back in her home state. She is dying to leave and go back to her home state but cannot as custody is 50/50. She is not allowed to move the child out of state. BM is miserable with a crummy apartment (vs a beautiful home), a pathetic job (vs SAHM) and a boyfriend who is not 100% committed as she is not there.

Not sure why the courts are holding strong on this but I am very happy for my friend who is the Grandmother of this child and lives with them.