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I don’t get it

mamabear3's picture

I don’t get it. We have had ss for a month and a half and he is almost potty trained and he is starting to say words. Idk if bm just wasn’t working with him at all or what. Or maybe she was Lieing about how severe his autism is. Tonight when I picked him up he asked me “where we go”. This from a kid that hasn’t said one single word. That’s not the only words he has saidsinve we have had him. I have heard him say why, no, ready, set, go, stop. I just don’t get it. Why wouldn’t a mother want the best for her child. Why wouldn’t you want your child to start talking. I’m sure once we get him into a school consistently he will just start picking stuff up rapidly. Hopefully the judge will see the progress he has made with us and give dh custody.

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Acratopotes's picture

If I could have my life over, I never will teach my son to talk or walk.....

how fair is this towards a kid, you pressure him to talk and walk, as soon as he manage you tell him to shut up and sit still? }:)

BM is doing this cause she wants sympathy, she's making a disability worse then what it is, maybe the kid does not have autism, it's maybe a simply case of never been taught by his mother, she kept him a veggie for the sympathy...

Some people use disability as an excuse not to do anything, some people ignore it and say, yes you are slow but it's no reason to be pathetic..

mamabear3's picture

I totally get that. My BS3 is never quiet. He is constantly talking or singing about something. Even when he does stop for a second he is still making some sort of noise. He always looses at the quiet game. lol

MoominMama's picture

It's like I said, what a child with autism can achieve depends on how much work the parents are prepared to put in. If they really can't be bothered then the child will appear to have a much lower level of function than they would have with some help, encouragement and boundaries. Keep going OP, you will at least be able to make a difference while he is at your house.

Then, when he is more verbal your DH can say to him something like 'you are doing so well, now go and show mummy how you can do this by yourself' etc.

mamabear3's picture

We try to treat him as normal as possible. We push him as much as we can to do things we know he can do. We are currently working on learning to put on socks. He hasn't quite grasped it yet but he will eventually. I just let him do it at his pace but he does have to at least try to an extent. He can put on his shoes but socks seem to have escaped him.

He is an extremely smart little boy. He knows and understands a lot more than people give him credit for. He is a typical 4.5 year old, he pushes his boundaries like any other small child.

MoominMama's picture

SS here was 8 when I arrived. He could not/would not dress himself. Soon sorted that out. BM then said 'oh, how come he is doing that? he still doesn't do it here'. He is now in a normal school and coping well.

Ginger13's picture

I am totally in the same situation. My SS is 4 and has the ability to only speak at a 2yr old level. We are waiting for him to be assessed but his understanding is fine. He was potty trained fine and he is even doing dry nights himself even though his whole world has changed in 2 months. It is totally the BM not actually communicating with him because she is an amoeba and can barely string a sentence together herself but hay, we can't change who his BM is.

mamabear3's picture

We just got him basically potty trained. He wakes up dry but we have to watch him closely for his ques on when he needs to go. Hopefully soon he will just start going to the bathroom himself when he needs to go. But I know that that might take him longer to get to than other kids.

beebeel's picture

My autistic nephew was completely nonverbal until he was almost 5 and then it was like a language explosion. I do believe, however, that he would not be nearly so behind if SIL or BIL would have even attempted to find services for him. Early intervention is SO important.

mamabear3's picture

We pretty much are on our own with his autism. BM wouldn't share any info on it with DH. She didn't even put him down to talk to his doc. If/When DH gets custody we should be able to talk to the doc and do more. Until then...research it is.

beebeel's picture

He doesn't need the child's former doctor to take him to another doctor. Your county should have free early childhood screenings that will set you up with services for developmentally delayed preschoolers.

mamabear3's picture

He has had the free screening. It showed he is delayed and needs therapy. We have court in 2 weeks and it would take that long to get him in after we get a referral. The school we were trying said they wanted us to wait until after the hearing to enroll him.