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Just to Vent

lylagarrett's picture

I just needed to vent a bit today and I figured what better place to do it than here with people who know a bit about what I'm going through.
My step-daughter who we had not seen or spoken to for over a year (because she got with the wrong crowd, etc. and accused us of abuse and had us thrown in jail-I have posted about this in previous posts) suddenly decides she wants to be a part of our lives again a few weeks back. She comes to our home and acts like nothing ever happened (I can't remember if I posted about this visit or not). Talks about the "new things" we have in our home. Talks about money! Shows her new belly ring and tattoo, etc. This was the one and only time of contact with her until last night. Anyway yesterday evening we went to Target in the town closest to ours to let our son spend some of his birthday money. The step-daughter calls hubby on his cell phone and asks where he is and decides to meet us there at the store. Once she gets there we see she is jittery and glassy eyed which she says if from a pain pill she took for dental work, but anyway we soon figure out why she wants in our lives again. First words from her are "Dad, I need for you to keep me on your insurance!" Basically she wants her dad to continue carrying medical insurance on her (she is 19 and not enrolled in school)until her insurance takes affect at her job next year around September. I have forgiven (not forgotten) everything she has done to us although she has never once admitted to any wrong doing, but it's still hard for me to deal with. How can somebody do all the things she has done, waltz back into our lives and expect so much? Plus, I'm unsure of the law on insurance, but I thought that once a child was out of high school if they were over the age of 18 and not enrolled in college that you can not continue to carry that person. Does anyone know if that is the case or not? We live in Oklahoma and have BC/BS insurance through my hubby's job. Sorry for the long post, but I really needed to get that out of my "system" and ask for input from everyone. Thanks!

Comments

Nise's picture

That is nerve! A pain pill huh? Yeah okay…..I’ve NEVER heard of any insurance that allows you to insure an adult child who is not enrolled in school! Hopefully yours does not either and that way you don’t have to worry about how to respond to her request!

How are you feeling?

Make a GREAT Day!

Janet's picture

nice because she wants something Im afraid. I believe they can only be covered until 19 unless she is a f/t student. so yes you are correct. Either way I would not allow her back on the ins. for many many reasons. One important one is that she could bankrupt you if something happened. If I was thrown in jail I would not let her come to my house, or let her back into my life so you have every right to feel like you do. I suspect shes using drugs by your posts, so communicate with your husband and tell him whatever the ins allows or doesn't is irrevelant because shes not going to be on your ins! This girl is big trouble, but you already no that and the past has a habit of repeating itself.

lylagarrett's picture

I agree I thought it took nerve too and you had the same thoughts on the pain pill as I did. And thank you for agreeing on the insurance part. The only thing I don't understand is how the insurance works. Do they see that the child is over 18 and automatically drop them or is it my hubby's responsibility to inform them of the matter? Also if it's hubby's respsonsiblity and he doesn't inform them will we get into some kind of trouble?

Feeling pretty good today and ready to get started on the chemo and such so that I can get back to "normal" soon. Thanks for asking!

Have a GREAT day!

Janet's picture

usually the system flags it because of the birthday. They send you out letters informing you, but you could call to make sure shes off. I was in the same boat and I called our insurance and they noted it and bingo at age 19 since they weren't in school they were off for good. It was a major relief so just give them a call to let them know, that will do it.

lylagarrett's picture

Thanks for your input! I emailed the insurance company and asked them about the "rules" they emailed back and asked for my Insurance ID #. I have not yet heard back but feel that I have at least somewhat informed them of the situation. I just hope hubby doesn't get angry for it!

happy's picture

Have enough to deal with right now.. With all you are going thru, which she doesn't seem to concerned about.. Which is sad on her part.. It just goes to show that she is using you and your husband.. I cannot get over the fact that she had you both thrown in jail on fraudulant charges of abuse and expects to just walk right back into your lives.. How very sad.. I just looked it up you are correct the age is 18, unless a full time student.. So there fore you do not have to cover her anymore.. Time to work and pay her own way. Besides that your family has enough medical bills right now I would think.. I am so sorry for all that you are going thru.. You are strong and will get thru this..
Best of luck.. Happy