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Time with the SD

LRP75's picture

SD was real shocked when I walked into the house this afternoon. I honestly think she was hoping that she wouldn't see me. I have to say, the feeling was mutual. BUT... well... neither of us get that luxury.

Well, a couple of our neighbors ordered Girl Scout Cookies from her and today she had to go make the deliveries. DH asked me if I wanted to walk with them. I decided, you know what? Yeah, I do want to take that walk. SD10 was soooo disappointed.

You know, this is why most of the time I choose to not participate. I feel that it's important that the skids have quality alone time with their father. I have to admit that I felt like a tool and that I was interfering on their time together.

But, oh boy were my feelings of regret short-lived.

We get back to the house and I am in the bathroom.

I overhear SD tell my DH that she wants to ride bikes up to get ice cream. Her father tells her that we haven't got the money for it, but if she wants to spend her own money - that would be fine.

What does sweet lil' SD say next?

"Fine, I'll pay. BUT I am NOT buying ice cream for HER!"

Since I am the only other female in the house, I feel that it's a safe assumption that she was referring to me.

My DH then proceeded to call her out on it (bless his heart) and asked her why she wouldn't buy me ice cream too.

I heard nothing from SD, so I am envisioning her shrugging her shoulders at him.

Maybe I should have stayed in the bathroom, but I just HAD to see the look on her face. Just to be sure...

And yup, there it was: that look of pure evil and nastiness she gets.

She sure is the spit of her mother. :sick:

Now, I know full well that I am supposed to be the adult and show this child how an adult behaves. With that in mind, my revenge will be such that she won't even know she's being served:

I will never spend one more penny of MY money on this child. Period. No separate birthday gift. No separate Christmas gift. In fact, I will even take it one step further and say that, from this point forward, that I will not even participate in picking out the gifts.

Yup. You hear that you little bitch? That's right. You are STUCK with your father picking out your gifts. Good f*cking luck with that! HAHAHAHAHAA!!!

I used to get her something special from me. Sh*t, I've even MADE her some really awesome gifts (jewelry, etc).

I know that kids don't understand what parents (or step-parents) do for them. I KNOW THIS! But it still p*sses me the f*ck off that she refused to buy me an ice cream.

What a little sh*t.


LRP75's picture

Oh, get this:

DH had her set the table for dinner and she refused to set a place for me.

If my son pulled some sh*t like that with my DH - I wouldn't let him get away with it for long. Difference is - MY child doesn't act that way.


oncechoosetosmile's picture

SO needs to act fast, this is not going just away.He should have taken her plate away to send a clear message that he is expecting her to treat you respectful!

LRP75's picture

I agree!

He's come a long way. I've got to give him credit where credit is due though. He let that one get by, which is a problem - that will be addressed.

He did make her pay for my ice cream though. Sooo... muahahahaa. He gets props from me for that one.

imjustthemaid's picture

Oh and it just gets better with age. See my blogs on SD15. She was pure evil at age 10 and she is even worse at 15. I no longer do anything nice for this kid because she complains no matter what I do. So I do nothing. She hates my kids. She hates me. I have bent over backwards for this kid and I no longer do anything for her. I don't pick out nice things for her like I used to. I really don't care anymore. I am sick of being treated like shit from a child.

At age 10 she had to sit next to daddy. Fine I said nothing. She had to walk next to daddy. Ok its fine I am an adult. She had to hold daddys hand. Ok. But then she started in saying that he loved BM. He hates BM and won't even talk to her. He has full custody because BM disappears all the time. She said she could get rid of me like the other ones. She made up fake girlfriends and fake things that happened. I finally told him and he blew up, packed her bags and told her to get out and go live with her mother. She cried and apologized. Then started the evil stares and mean looks. She was mean to my 5 yr old daughter. She tells lies about me to BM and MIL and FIL. She is pure evil like her mother!

Read my previous blog. Shit on me, then you don't come do the fun things and I will make sure of it. I have been pushed too far with this kid.

Good luck!!!

LRP75's picture

I've read some of your stuff. Just one that you posted today? And yeah, it sent chills down my spine because it reminded me of how nasty my SD is. Only difference is: my bio-son is 16 and leaves to go to his dad when the skids are here. My DH and I will not be having any children of our own. One of the reasons? Exactly the hell you are going through: I do NOT trust SD AT ALL to be around babies. Dude... yeah. She's freaking evil.

starfish's picture

i get where you're coming from, BUT you need to stay in charge of the gifts. that is the shitty gifts she gets year after year from you & dh. i've made the fact that i'm the gift buyer so fucking clear, i don't think the ags even ask dh for anything for christmas/bday/etc. }:-)

and i'm pretty sure last year was the last year the easter bunny visited here, too. }:) }:)

beyond pissed-off's picture

Good point. With guilty daddy picking out the gifts you may end up with a pony in the backyard and a concert-grade sound system in her bedroom! If you get the gifts then she can be the lucky recipient of mittens, picture frames, and a sweatshirt with a cute little kitty on it. }:)

beyond pissed-off's picture

Great minds think alike, girl! BTW - I have been clicking on your animal rescue site. Thanks for putting it up! I am a ridiculously soft touch when it comes to animals - currently 5 dogs, 3 cats, and a bird - all rescues except for the bird. Most people I can take or leave but animals are my heart.

imjustthemaid's picture

This year I allowed DH to be in charge of SD15's Christmas gifts. He spent over $800 on her!!!!! Didn't spend that much on the other kids. I am back in charge and that will never happen again!!!

LRP75's picture

Point very well taken about the gift buying!!! Wow, something like that never occurred to me. So yeah... muahahaa... I suppose that I will help out with that after all!

THANK YOU for the tip!

starfish's picture

thanks 2P, i like it called wise. the tree-huggers & the wadded panty team call it something far less flattering!!

starfish's picture

glad i could help!!

BPO, thanks i'm happy to hear someone clicks on it!! i, too, love the little furry pumpkins. 6 dogs and 2 cats. and i am the first person everybody calls when they need a home for an animal.

beyond pissed-off's picture

Me too! I have fostered more animals than I can count until I could find a forever home. Problem is that I get attached to them and the forever home ends up being mine half the time!!!! Luckily both my late husband and FH have been animal lovers as well. I couldn't be with a man that was not willing to deal with my fur addiction!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Crap on a cracker!

If I had EVER refused to set a place for my stepmom at the table, my dad would have picked my plate up and I would have missed meals until I apologized and ceased acting like an asshole.

LRP75's picture


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! OMG!! Thank you SO much for the laugh!!!! I love it. I'm totally stealing it. Biggrin

LRP75's picture


SD decided she wanted to buy a $5 pizza for dinner. So my DH drove her to the pizza place down the street to get it.

When they got back:

My DH ended up setting a place for me at the table. So when I sat down, I looked straight at SD. The look on her face was priceless. We are talking straight-on eye contact. Yeah b*tch, what's up now. I said to her, straight in the eye, "You look a whole lot like you've got something to say to me right now."

She shook her head.

I said, "Are you sure? Because now is the time to spit it out."

She just looked away, slowly eating her pizza...

I realize full well that I shouldn't be proud for intimidating a 10yo child. But I am. I wanted to say, "Girl, when your grown - bring it. Until then, you ain't got sh*t."

THEN, get this (hehehee), my DH invites me to ride bikes up to the ice cream place. Then adds, "SD is buying."

I looked at SD and said very, very sweetly, "Why SD that is very kind of you to offer to do that. I appreciate it so much. The weather has been so nice - it's a perfect day for ice cream. I'm going to take you up on that offer."

She, literally, choked on her pizza.


After dinner, I bowed out of going. Not because I want to back out of spending time with her (ok, maybe just a little), but really because she and her father DO need to spend some quality alone time together.

I got what I wanted: the little brat to choke on her own nastiness. It was priceless.

LRP75's picture

Considering that your skids are that old - their behavior is really deplorable. At that age, people are supposed to KNOW how much their parents had to sacrifice (or not) to raise them.


I wouldn't be putting down or changing no stepgrandbaby if that was the way they were going to treat me. Then again, that is just a poor, defenseless little baby...

LRP75's picture

I don't hold a lot of hope for my SD either. Not if she is going to continue acting like her mother. In fact, and I really hope I'm wrong, I imagine she will be pregnant and swinging on a pole before the age of 18.

bi's picture

sd19 is now pregnant and did it on purpose. she is nowhere near ready to be a mother. she's way too selfish and immature. i don't doubt for a minute that she will expect me to pick up her slack. bm won't even be considered. she's too happy that her youngest is now 18 and she's free. she didn't really ever settle down for her own kids, she sure isn't gonna do it to be a gramma. what really gets me is that sd was horrible to me a few years ago when i was pregnant and was happy as a lark when i miscarried, yet she expects me to be all happy and excited for her. wtf?? how do these kids not understand cause and affect? you treat me like shit when i'm pregnant and rejoice when i miscarry is the cause of me not caring to be one bit involved with your pregnancy and baby. my disengagement from this is the effect of her attitude towards me. not too hard to understand, but she still doesn't get it.

bi's picture

i have a pizza story, too. several years ago, when sd was probably 12 or 13, fdh and i went grocery shopping while sd and bd (10 or 11 then) stayed home. we had a trunk full of stuff that needed to be taken in, and we had a couple of pizzas. when we got back, bd came out and started helping carry stuff in, while sd stood on the porch, literally with her hands out waiting for me to give her the pizzas so she could start eating while we carried groceries in. i glared at her and walked right past her and fdh told her to get her ass out there and help carry stuff in. the nerve of that kid is infuriating! she saw absolutely nothing wrong with sitting on her ass eating while the rest of us carried in and took care of groceries! :O

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Very good of SO to send a clear message.
I think it's not called intimidating it should be called teaching a lesson.:)
I personaly would have gone with them to follow it through- getting to spend quality time with dadddy shouldnt be a reward for her nasty behaviour beforehands.I think it would have been a different story if she would have been nice to you, then, yes, why not, but under those circumstances I wouldnt have given her that bonus...:)

LRP75's picture


By the way, I explained to my DH that I am backing out of going for ice cream because he and his daughter need to spend the time together - alone. That is way more important. BUT, I thanked him for inviting me - and for making her pay.

My DH may not be perfect at dealing with our situation, but I'll give him some major credit for trying.

The not setting a place for me kind of got by him. He SHOULD have made her do it, rather than doing it himself. But, he did call her out on it. And rather than making me set my own place, he set one for me.

I love him.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

agree, but he tried and protected you and your role in the house, it's a learning curve!:)

bi's picture

i feel you on the you do all the gift buying/choosing, but dh gets all the credit. Christmas 08 was the last straw for me. i was working full time, fdh was laid off. he did have unemployment, but we were not doing well. i went to the mall and dealt with the crowded stores to buy sd (16 at the time) clothes from the expensive stores like she wanted. she kept making snide comments about everything because she KNEW i bought it all. some things were small, some were medium. they didn't all come from the same store. she said "why did you get me a bunch of awkward sizes?" no thank you, no i like this, no nothing except criticism to me, while thanking her dad enthusiastically for what she was just complaining to me about. that has been the last time i picked anything out or spent a dime of my money on her.

fdh isn't a gift buyer. he doesn't know what to do. i told him i was done, and i meant it. so now she just gets money, but he's not a guilty dad (but he's a lazy one and that's why sd got away with so much, it's easier than correcting her), so he doesn't overdo it. she hasn't gotten a v day gift, easter basket at all since i disengaged, no bday cake anymore, no Christmas stocking. she gets some money for her bday and Christmas and that's it. at 19, she doesn't need to expect all the other things anymore anyway, although i do still do all that for bd17. }:)

mlmt1128's picture

I jut want to know who the F is giving a 10 yo so much money. Why can she afford to pay for pizza and ice cream?? She's in the 5th grade!!

LRP75's picture

We offered her several different choices for dinner. All of which would be cooked at home because we can't afford to go out. SD insisted that she wanted pizza. We insisted that we couldn't afford to go out. SD insisted she wanted pizza. We finally told her that if she wanted pizza, she would have to buy because, again, we can't afford to eat out. So she bought the pizza. And the ice cream since she wanted to go out for ice cream too. I don't feel that it's weird at all. If we can't afford it, and she wants it, she should pay for it herself.

LRP75's picture

Your families don't give kids cash for birthday and Christmas gifts? She also gets paid small amounts of money to help her grandparents and aunt around their homes.

The skids families do. And SD saves hers.

I'm confused about why you think it's strange for a child to have money...

LRP75's picture

her attitude has been much better since they got back from their bike ride. she was even acting rather normal for a while.

that is, until she started complaining about her throat hurting.

Last weekend it was the SS with his "hurt ankle." Apparently, this weekend it will be the SD with her "hurting throat."

I see through them: they aren't hurt. They really just want their dad to pay attention to them. They are 10. I get it. It's annoying to watch from the outside though.