Used and Abused!
Brief history....DH and BM have court ordered joint custody of SS7. Because of "issues" with SS and DH work schedule...he travels during the week 40% of the time, it was agreed upon by DH and BM that SS would live with her full-time and come to our home EOW. This was supposed to be a trial basis. However,BM has not allowed SS to visit EOW since June of this year. We have only seen him once briefly at his open house at school. Her reason is because she wants this new EOW agreement set by the court. We refuse to go back to court as this is an every year occurence...her witholding visitation. Because she is above the law, we opted not to pursue this through court or rack up attorney costs...as this occurs frequently with her. Instead, we took the mediation route. During mediation she stated that she no longer wanted SS to come to our house EOW as he gets too distratced at school on the Fridays he is to come to our house. Funny because he hasn't even been to our house during the school year! So, she said she wanted him just to visit 3 weeks out of the summer and on some holidays. They only live a few miles away! SO, since an agreement could not be reached, the mediator of course suggested going back to court. Well, this weekend we received from BM her custody agreement proposal and here goes.....one weekend a month starting in January, 35 straight days June/July then he is back to BM for a week (ironically this is the week of his birthday), then back to our house for 28 days straight until the start of school. It also includes us having him his entire spring break and 1 week of Christmas vacation. I feel so USED! My feelings are that she wants us to be her childcare provider during Spring break,Christmas break and the WHOLE summer! As I mentioned earlier, my husband travels and I refuse to be used as summer camp. Also, I can't imagine how she can deny 6 months straight visitation thus far and then want to let us have him 63 of 70 days in the summer. I would be miserable not beig able to see my own child for that long! My DH has not yet responded to her unrealistic proposal. Does anyone have any ideas on how we should handle her bizarre request? Thank you so much!
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I would think that when
I would think that when everyone is so local, visits should be a lot more frequent & short instead of few & far between. I wouldn't agree to it. Tell her its not fair for either parent to be away from their kid that long when it can be avoided. Both parents should feel they can be involved in the kids daily lives, especially living so close to each other! Just sounds ridiculous to suggest that visitation schedule.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
no this is ridiculous
that is EXACTLY what she wants...u as a free babysitter. no deal! i would just figure out what visitation DH wants and request that. no judge is gonna let this type of arrangement fly, in fact, i have a feeling even if DH agreed no judge would like it. they dont like the kids to go longer than a WEEK without seeing any one parent! she cant just keep him away from u bc she feels like it.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
With the proximity involved it sounds like a EOWE deal to me.
And EOW in the summer with alternating holidays and EO Birthday.
This is not about HER convenience it is about Dad having a relationship with his kid.
Also, the first time she withheld visitation I would call the police. Each and every time. Keep a copy of the Visitation Judgement handy so that you can show her to be in violation of the order when the police show up.
Just my thoughts of course.
Good luck and best regards.