Bed Wetter allowed water before bedtime
So most of you know SS11 still wets the bed. His rule at home with BM is no liquids after 7. We've been letting it go until 8 since bedtime is between 8:30-9 and he swears he's dying of thirst.
So tonight I walk in to give DS5 his little cup of water for his nightstand. It's usually the only thing he asks for during bedtime, he'll take a sip or two and be done; so it's part of his nighttime routine now. NBD; but tonight I walk in and SS 11 is chugging a huge glass of water.
"SS you know you shouldn't have that."
"Dad gave it to me."
So I ask DH about it. He says "Well It's NOT FAIR that DS gets it and SS doesn't."
"DS has never wet the bed and doesn't need diapers at night. You're not doing SS any favors, just being an enabler."
DH didn't respond, just rolled his eyes.
Whatever. He can take the time to wash the sheets and blankets (literally every free blanket in the house because SS was "uncomfortable") and spend $20 to wash and dry them all at the laundry. Why should I care weather SS wets the bed for the rest of his life?
EXCEPT THAT HE SHARES A ROOM WITH DS AND HIDES HIS DIRTY CLOTHES AND SMELLS UP THE PLACE.
Also, I'm considering painting a target in the toilet. The only time there's EVER urine on the floor is when SS is visiting. :sick:
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I agree with this totally.
I agree with this totally. How many times do we wish that a GUBM would stick to a routine with skids so they're not wild animals back at our homes and here's a case where a BM has a very reasonable rule for SS and your DH refuses to agree to do it in your home. This isn't a case of "Oh, snugglebum has to have a cup of hot cocoa at exactly 87 degrees with three and a half mini marshmallows in it at precisely 8pm or he can't sleep!" This is a case of "he pees the bed so liquids aren't allowed after 7" Sorry, got to side with the BM in this case. Your DH is trying to show SS that he's so much NICER than BM because he lets him have water. Nope. Sorry. It needs to stop.
A glass of water is not fair
A glass of water is not fair :jawdrop:
In theory, I agree about the
In theory, I agree about the "fair" thing. Life isn't fair and things aren't equal all the time.
That being said, it would be hard for the kid to watch another kid in the same bedroom get a privileged that he doesn't have. It would be a kindness to the child to not have your other child drink HIS water in front of the one who can't have any. A few sips in the bathroom or kitchen before he goes to bed and no glass by the bedside should be fine.
Alternately, they both are allowed small sips from a small glass and the glasses are removed from the room.
OR, your child can also give up the water part of his bedtime (might not be "fair" but see above, life ain't fair) It can be explained to your child that because the other boy can't that it would be nice if he could be sensitive to the other boy's feelings. A good lesson in empathy.
I understand that it doesn't seem right to "punish" your child because the other one has a problem but I think you will find it more harmonious if the whole family works together to help solve this problem instead of clutching their own personal water glasses to their chests and not helping because it isn't "THEIR" problem.
We did that with BF's boys.
We did that with BF's boys. One sets the bed, one does not. Neither one gets a drink after 7:00 pm. It doesn't hurt the one who doesn't wet the bed to make that concession for his brother.
Here is an example of what
Here is an example of what happens when the constant 'what's fair' comes into play....
Skids have entitlement issues and are FOREVER taking about what's fair and he/she got this and I didn't blah blah blah.
Fast forward to birthdays...could be a skids, bios or even MINE. They will throw a fit that they didn't get anything and then STEAL presents from the birthday kid and destroy them to fulfill their 'fairness' quota.
Don't fix it now and this is what you have to look forward to sadly
We dealt with this with SD
We dealt with this with SD now 12 it seemed like FOREVER. It took to DH waking her up 2 hours after bedtime to go to the bathroom and waking her up one to 2 hours before morning wake up. It was a pain but DH stuck to it for a couple of weeks and it worked. Dog bless the oracle Google for that sanity save....
Actually, research shows that
Actually, research shows that liquids before bed don't really effect whether a kid will wet the bed. Usually the problem and anatomical or constipation. Has he been to a doctor about this issue? Do you guys wake him up before you go to bed and make him pee? That could help train his body to wake up to use the bathroom before he wets the bed.
With that being said. It is perfectly acceptable to have different rules for different kids, especially at such an age difference. SS and DS are 2 different people with different needs. There is no reason to always treat them exactly alike. I'm sure DS isn't far off from having naps, and when he did, I bet DH didn't make SS take a nap just because DS needed one.
Sure. If they don't have any
Sure. If they don't have any liquid, they won't pee. But this doesn't actually solve the problem, just risks dehydration, esp in the heat.
Enuresis is a sleep disorder.
Enuresis is a sleep disorder. The brain doesn't cycle through its sleep cycles properly, so the brain-bladder signals don't synch up properly. That's why the waking up process is helpful (but only if the kiddo gets fully woken up, not sleep-walking "awake"). There are online programs that are very helpful for the older kids especially, but they take strident parental commitment and participation.
SS should clean his own urine
SS should clean his own urine as another suggested or sit on the toilet. Both would likely lead to change. I had this issue with my SD, believe it or not yes a girl. Turns out she was too excited to sit on the toilet, wanted to get back in the action, so she squatted above & pissed all over the seat, toilet, floor, etc. at 8 & 9! So I started making her clean it up. After a few weeks problem was solved. Still pops up on occasion, but I send her back in to clean it herself.
As for bed wetting, I really hope he's seeing a dr for this problem. I can't offer any advice on this as I've never delt with it before. All I can add is I agree with everyone that life isn't fair. Fairness is a great idea, but it idealistic & unrealistic. I wouldn't change giving a kid that doesn't pee the bed a glass of water. I think stick to the same thing BMs doing to try to fix the problem, consistency may really help. Also see a dr or read a recent publication on bed wetting for what works to fix it. It's my understanding it's something they sort of grow out of, but 11 seems old for that.
Yes he has seen a dr. With
Yes he has seen a dr. With BM. Supposedly its attributed to "age" and bladder control. We've asked him while here if he'd like for us to take him to a different doctor for another opinion but he said no. Under other circumstances I'd make him go weather he wanted to or not, but I'm trying to disengage. In that sense I guess if DH wants him to have water he can. However, agree with fake mommy, two different kids, with a large age gap.... Fair shouldn't be an issue; it's stupid.