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Its all Over. DH is useless, and A disgrace!

lostbroken's picture

Thank you ALL so very much for all your support. I can't say thank you enough. Your suggestions and comments were all so perfect.
Last night was one of the toughest nights I ever had to endure in my life! I am sad to say that I left my home this morning with my BS, and I don't intend on ever going back. I have to say that all my attempts at trying to talk with my DH as ADULTS, and on a non- critical, non - judgmental fashion have failed. And for those who are curious, is the house cleaned??? Drum roll please........NOPE! Nothing was cleaned AT ALL.NOT a GD Thing, Just MORE added to the mix.
I saw a side of him last night that I have never ever seen. I also have to say that I feel sorry for his children. I would love to sit here and say the NASTIEST shit about ALL of them (and all would be true), but it's not even worth my energy or thought process to put it down in words. My DH and his kids are cut from the same cloth! They are ALL LOSERS! I hope my DH is going to VERY happy, and in ALL his GLORY catering to his children that CLEARLY have no respect for anyone, or anything. Clearly and even clearer since last night, I DON’T hold a candle to his kids and NEVER will. His kids are his ONLY priority and talking him about anything to do with or without his kids cause a VERY hostile situation. I feel sorry that they were NOT raised by civil, nurturing, disciplining, and decent, parents who HAD morals and ethics. I am also past Disappointed with my husband. I actually have no words to describe the disgust and ANGER I have rage inside me because of HIS OWN actions. I hope when he lies his head on the pillow at night, that he can reflect on where he went wrong in all of this. And I mean REALLY reflect!!!! I am in NO way claiming to be perfect, but I was diligent, kind, and loving to both him and his children for ALL these years. I didn’t not deserve anything that happened to me last night.
I am going to see an attorney tomorrow. I know this sound oh so over the top, and oh so quick, but I have been putting up with this behavior & treatment for too long, and last night's episodes are just something I don't even want to recall. I feel very sorry for him and his kids, because Life will never be easy for people who don't see clearly, and don't have respect, civility, or boundaries.
I am past angry, past hurt, and past feeling like I am a non-existent entity in my home (If that was only half my problems). I think people should be treated with respect when they are given respect. I believe there are 2 sides to every story. However, I don’t believe a child, bio or skid should run, or have the authority to run an adults life or household.
I wish I had better news. I wish things did not happen as they did last night. But for My sanity & safety and without ANY doubt for my sons well being and safety I have left.
He is free to make a mess of the house with his rotten children, and free to let his children rule the roost and play mini-wife's and to have interactions, and talk to him and about me and my son in ways I don't feel are appropriate. Now I have truly disengaged. I have fully disconnected, and all it took was one pitiful episode from a DH that I no longer call a man.
Thank you again for all your support.. I will update again soon Hugs to you all!

Comments

lostbroken's picture

Awe goodtime, you actually made me well up with tears. Thank you so much. You are so very kind for saying this. I feel just horrible, and I couldn't even drag myself to work today. But I think I did the right thing. I hope! Thank you so very much. Hugs to you ....

lostbroken's picture

Thank you so much sweet pea! I wish this never happened! But shame on my Husband. Good luck to him and his kids!
I do have a safe place to go for now. I will stay with family until I get my self sorted. Thank you so much for all your support, It means the world to me.

justthegirlfriend13's picture

I can't even imagine how someone like him can justify his kids making such a mess and not cleaning it, or waiting for you to do so! He really, truly deep down believes this is your responsibility????

In any case, I'm sorry that it came down to this, but I hope that you find happiness outside of this drama and misery that he and his kids put you through. Good luck!

lostbroken's picture

thank you so much justagirlfriend. Your sweet words are so appreciated. Yes my husband does seem to think he is the King, and his kids are his queens! He must really think of me as someone that is responsible for all this. Shame on him. I am heart broken. But I think I must move on now, and find my own happiness, and no more drams for sure. Thank you again for all your support Smile

hereiam's picture

I am so sorry.

You do deserve so much better and to be treated with much more respect.

misSTEP's picture

I'm so sorry that you are going through this and that your DH isn't much of a man. However, I am happy that you chose to leave instead of letting it fester even longer. Life is too short.

Jsmom's picture

You deserve better. Now you have a chance of getting it. Good for you...It was a big step, it will get easier.

I would however love to know what straw finally broke the camels back, but understood not wanting to re-live it. We all have those dramas including Steps...

DarkStar's picture

Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Sad

I absolutely 100% admire your decisiveness and strength. You did the best you could, made every attempt, but in the end, drew that line in the sand and REFUSED to be treated the way you have been treated. The right decision is often the most painful one, but you will come out ahead.

Kudos to you for doing right by yourself and your son. I would personally like to throat-punch your DH, but I'm just in a mood today.

calm retreat's picture

Wow, just wow. I can see how this can happen, and it happens way too much. It's heartbreaking when DH's can't do what they need to do a parent their own kids. And it reminds me to be grateful that my DH made choices that I could live with. No one going into these situations know how horrible it can become or how their DH's will choose to handle (or not handle) things. I completely feel for you and understand how you can be pushed to the breaking-up point. It's just so sad. But with this behind you, I trust you will be much better off. They don't call it Stephell for nothing. ((hugs))

DaizyDuke's picture

Sorry you are going through this, but also glad that you are no longer going to put up with this crap. How is your BS? Is he relieved to be out as well?

wow, they are like freaking wild animals...now they can all live happily ever after in all their slobbery and laziness and you can live happily ever after with your son not being subjected to this crap.

Sports Fan's picture

Lostbroken-we are in the same spot today. I am at work but can't focus on anything. I have all I can do to not just cry all day. Sometimes it takes something to happen to see how someone really feels. I think we both now know. My DH keeps saying our relationship is a priority but actions speak louder than words and sometime you got to show someone you care. A small part of me can't believe it's over and is still hoping the light will come on but it's probably just wishful thinking.

Stay strong and take care of your son. I am going to focus on mine as well.

fedupstep's picture

I'm so sorry. It's horrible with spouses don't realize the effort you put in...but you do and you should take some comfort in that you did EVERYTHING you could to save the marriage. Nothing to be ashamed about.

*hugs*