DW / BF saga continued....
Recap: DW has loads of debt after her divorce. I'm supporting her 100% financially. Her 2 kids are living with their dad and his new girlfriend. Her kids are alleging her ex is mistreating or ignoring them. SS got spanked last week, we went and got him, and SD threw tantrum about medication she forgot at home (45 mile round trip for us, BD has never once come and dropped them off or collected them) and sent melodramatic texts to BD to come and "rescue" her. DW is pressuring me to let her 2 kids move in with us. I'm balking at the idea, given that I will end up supporting her and her 2 kids, something that I never signed up for. BD is years in arrears with child support, and it's probably futile to go after him even in court.
So after the drama regarding SD's medication, we took the skids back to their BD yesterday. And guess what, BD welcomes his daughter with a new puppy, but barely greets his son. Then the penny drops:There's a plan here. BD has probably thought things through over the weekend, wants my wife to take in SS and he wants to keep SD. Natch. SS is a difficult child - hence the spanking - and has ADHD and other behavioral issues (inappropriate touching of his sister and mom.) So BD is probably thinking that if he can get rid of the problem child, SS, he doesn't need to pay child support to DW because he's looking after SD, after all. Very "clever." SD is also very clearly playing both sides off against one another and trying to emotionally manipulate DW and BD.
We got home - and I knew this was coming - DW starts crying saying the children should not have gone back to BD. They should have moved in with us, according to DW, because they're not safe with BD. I told DW that merely having them stay with us, isn't going to address her worries about their safety. She will still have to let them go to BD for holidays and weekends, and who's to say he won't get drunk on a Friday night when they're there and then hit them again? (Once again: I don't think the spanking was serious and knowing SS's behavioral issues, I am sure it was justified.) If this was really the reason for wanting her kids, her concerns about their safety, she'd have to go big and apply for a court order for supervised visitation to make sure BD doesn't hurt them. Also, of course, I'd almost guaranteed end up having to care for 2 another children financially, while BD, who does currently have a better paying job than DW, laughs all the way to the bank.
Long and the short of it, DW threatens to leave me and go and live with her children if I don't agree to let them move in. Knowing full well that there is no way she could ever afford to do this, or even just to live by herself, I called her bluff and said I'm OK with that. Stalemate. Slept in separate rooms.
Watch this space for the next depressing episode of our soap opera.