I would make sure that any cuts that have to be made for him to make this visit therefore come out of his treats - don't buy his favourite food, drink etc and say it's to cover the cost of travel.

However, I can understand him wanting to go see his daughter, so perhaps you need to sit down with a calculator together to work out a budget to allow him to do this on occassions - perhaps he's given charge of a section of money each month that is to cover anything relating to his kids - presents, travel to visit etc & then he can make the decision.

d

My husband was the same way with money it progressed until his credit cards were being declined at the stores. He would yell at me as to why if he got paid he didn't have enough money to pay all his bills. Needless to say it was stressful. I sat his butt down, showed him how much his check was and how much mine was. Then I showed him the mortgage and utilities and the credit card bills he has stuffed in a drawer hoping I wouldn't see his guilt parenting. I had found Dave Ramsey and bought one of his books when it was on his $10 deal and asked my husband to atleast look at it. I downloaded podcasts for us to listen to, I did it gradual and explained that I understood why he was buying all these things for his adult son and his late teen son but we just couldn't afford it and while it was sad he had to buy them things to get them to visit we just couldn't buy their love anymore. I even told him when he stopped I was sure they would be gone for awhile but if they loved him they'd be back some day. His 23 year old just started coming back this summer without his hand out. They are actually getting pretty tight which is wonderful because he actually is finally getting to know his son for who he is. His 19 year old still hasn't surfaced and I don't know if he ever will.