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I told DH for the millionth time I am not interested in hearing about skids or BM

livinthedream's picture

Whenever I attempt to talk about our marriage is...DH just keeps singing the same story about his kids & BM. If we go out on date night he always breaks the rules & talks about skids, BM & his job(Big NO NO).I am letting go of trying to keep trying to keep trying. I am really beginning to like being at home alone now more than ever before. I told him straight up today that I dont care about their lil lives bottom line! I am not in the least bit interested in their new drama everyday. Can anyone relate?????

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Willow2010's picture

I can kind of relate. Many years ago, our lives revolved around BM and SS. Finally, we stopped talking about BM and it got so much nicer.

As much as I did not really want to hear about SS and all the problem he had, I still let DH vent about all of SS's issues. It is his child and a VERY large part of his life.

I am so glad that SS is almost an adult now and I hope I am done with a lot of that kind of drama. I bet we can go months without even bringing up BM at all. How old are your Skids?

Lovepets's picture

"BM is a crazy women and everyday there is a new issue with her. When DH would tell me the "latest news" about BM and what she is up to now, my blood pressure would go up, it would ruin my whole day/night, etc, etc. Finally I told DH that I did not want to hear about BM and what she was now up to. I don't care. I made it clear to him that HE is the one that slept with her and made a kid with her, so she is HIS problem. I didn't do the deed and make a baby so I should not have to deal with her...and I don't. I told DH that if he needed to vent to get it off of his chest that he was going to have to find someone else besides me because I was not going to listen anymore."

This is invaluable advice to me right now! Thank you so much!

pat's picture

I can relate. The only time we talk about her is when there is a broblem , or drama. Other than that , I can care less what she does. As long as my kids are ok.

Snowflake's picture

I could care less to hear about BM's life. I wasn't the one who was foolish enough to marry such a mean, vindictive, and judgemental person. I don't know her and I really don't care to because she has not ever said ANYTHING positive to me ever. When I have had the misfortune of talking to her, she complained the entire time about DH or about her life. And when I have met her, she just glares at me.

Why in the world does your dh think that you would care to hear about BM. I can get what you say about the stepkids. We were at my dad's house recently, and DH brings up that his kids were born at such and such a hospital. My dad and his wife looked at him like he had to heads. They really didn't care to hear where his first wife birthed her kids.

Lovepets's picture

"I could care less to hear about BM's life. I wasn't the one who was foolish enough to marry such a mean, vindictive, and judgmental person. I don't know her and I really don't care to because she has not ever said ANYTHING positive to me ever. When I have had the misfortune of talking to her, she complained the entire time about DH or about her life. And when I have met her, she just glares at me."

The BM in my life is the same type of loser!!!

Pantera's picture

I can totally relate. DH used to say that I talked about BM and SS too much, then I made sure not to talk about them at all and DH realized it was him that was doing it. And it wasn't just if there was a problem, it was all of the time!!! He finally stopped.

purpledaisies's picture

Have you tried this, tell him that at such and such time he can talk about them for 1 hour. And when you are out on a date that is supposed to be all about just eh 2 of you than talk about just the 2 of you. That way it gives dh some time to talk about them and you the time you need with dh.

ETA: That doesn't mean you HAVE to actually listen to what he says about them. Wink

starfish's picture

100% AGREE

"I dont care about their lil lives bottom line!"

i look so forward to days w/o skids, and if dh brings them up on those precious days it sends me straight to a sour mood.... seems like dh got it for a while, but lately he's been testing the waters again...... i just change the subject or walk away while he's in midsentence...... dh is a smart man, i don't why he falls into these memory lapses....

i'm with ya livin..... btw, this isn't one of those precious weekends, skids are here ~ ALREADY! (usually don't get here til 6)~~ i fucking hate summer and 1/2 days at school (they always fall on our days!!) in reference to skids!

DD10's picture

I don't care to hear about bms life. But (there's always a but) I try to realize when dh is talking about things like the skids,bm,job stuff; he's trying to share with me what goes through his mind and that's always something I can't help but welcome. Why censor these men so eventually they'll tip toe around you in conversations and you'll be one of those wives who never know what their husbands think and feel. I think it is better to suffer through listening to his thoughts on undesirable topics than have him censor himself and shut down on me.

DD10's picture

And just to clarify, if he interupts talk about your marriage with discussions about skids and bm and it isn't relevent to the conversation, he is avoiding something and should be dealt with as head on as possible.