You are here

Thoughts please

linzee1585's picture

Good morning to all you wonderful step-parents! I am here in the hopes that this could work as not only a venting session as well as a counseling session! (LOL) It's been almost six years that I have been in my step-daughter's life. At an early age her mother abandoned her for drugs. I've been raising her with my fiance's mother, but on my own for nearly three years now. She has a lot of love from everyone in her family but no one can take the place of her mother, not even me. I honestly don't want the responsibility of it all anymore. We get no money from the BM and she's moved on having three more children who probably aren't taken care of either. My frustration comes with a lot of guilt and I wish and hope that my feelings will someday change. She pisses me off to no end, and doesn't respect my authority. At this point I just want NOTHING to do with her and I know this is a terrible feeling to have. At what point will I be able to just accept this is my life? Does anyone have trouble with loving a step child like their own? I have an almost eight month old who is the love of my life, and my love for him is unconditional, but it hurts me to not feel that connection with her as well. I try not to show him more love than her until she's off to school. I wish her mother could clean up her act and see her kid.

Comments

smdh's picture

Honey, it is perfectly normal and sane to not love your skid the way you love your own child. Don't let anyone tell you different and don't let anyone (even yourself) make you feel guilty about it. It isn't her fault her mother left her, but it isn't your fault either. As long as you are kind and respectful to her, you are meeting your requirements. Yes, she needs love. She has a father and other family members to give her love. Her father CHOSE her mother to be her mother. Let him help her cope with the consequences of that decision. The truth is, she doesn't love you like a mother either - despite all the motherly things you've done for her.