Why I Will Never Step-Parent Again…..
.....And should have never relaxed my standards to begin with
- Step-kids come into your home thinking they run the place / do things like they do with their bioparents house or when their bio parents were together / single
- The moment you assert boundaries and enforce basic rules (like "if you use it you clean it" or "if you break it you buy it") step-kids and their parents act like you're single-handedly providing military-style, destruction of enemy level torture.
- Step-kids typically wish their bio parents would get back together and intentionally or subconsciously behave like domestic t*rrorist to run you off
- The non-custodial parent is usually high conflict, drama-filled, controlling, manipulative, demanding, narcissistic, and lurking like a lockness monster (you've never seen it but you know it's there) deep below the surface waiting to wreak havoc at anytime for no reason at all
- The custodial parent usually operates out of guilt and gives in to the kids whims and caves to HCBM every beck and call
- Your needs will usually come last after the stepkids wants and whims are fulfilled. You'll get accused of being "selfish" if you protest.
- The stepkids seem to be more expensive moneypits because the divorced parent guilt soothes the guilt by buying them useless sh*t to appease the imaginary "suffering" the bio parents want them to feel so they can feed their ego by "rescuing" the stepkids from any and every disappointment
- Bioparents oddly have removed the word NO (that most humans hear from time to time throughout life) from their vocabulary and treat their kids like delicate fragile beings. The moment you say no you get accused of "hurting their feelings"
- Typical non-custodial parents have delusions of grandeur, are manipulative/controlling, and don't want to see their former spouse move on, don't want their kids to bond to another person, want to control EVERY aspect of someone else's household that they contribute nothing to.
- When all else fails most non-custodial parents use their kids as pawns and tools of manipulation (ex. If you do don't get back with me/jump when I say how high/marry someone else you'll never see your kids again)
- Most bio parents have delusions of grandeur regarding their "perfect innocent angels" and expect their kids to be on a fake pedestal above the spouse / partner
- Sometimes the custodial parents "overcompensate" for their lazy exes by expending twice as much resources on step kids instead of holding their exes accountable for intentionally disrespecting their own kids. Now you feel like a single (married) parent if you bring your own kids/kids together into the situation.
- If you do anything but sing those step-kid praises, you get met with defensive attitudes/pushback/no cooperation
- If you don't auto volunteer you will get volunTOLD to complete unlimited hours of free on-demand childcare typically on prime times like Friday and Saturday nights or right after work. And the moment you ask for money you get looked at like you have three heads.
- Most divorced people with kids pull bait and switch worse than narcissistic slick snake oil used car salespeople. Once you're "locked in" with them (cohabitation, marriage, kid together with them, depend on them in some way, etc) they slam you with drama, unlimited childcare expectations, guilt trips, parenting so horrid it affects your peace
- Some of these divorced parents will refuse to take higher paying jobs and now need you to help them pay bills so you can help them subsidize their divorced guilt splurging and HCBM financial demands.
- Most divorce single parents with kids are so narcissistic tendencied/self absorbed they act like they don't care how theirs, their kids, their exes constant negative behaviors affect others and will literally act a fool one minute then turn around the next minute and expect s3x, childcare, domestic labor, etc all without any reciprocity, compensation, or even a thank you or I'm sorry.
- And much much more soul sucking shenanigans that these people are usually pulling.
Unless the divorced dad is bankrolling multi-millions, I will NEVER be a step-parent again. Too much drama and energy expended than the payoff of dealing with the average self absorbed divorced/single parent with kids under 18